Training Plan / Mental Health / TrainNow / Goal Event

I will try to be concise.
I have a Goal Event in March 2023 (Peaks Challenge Falls Creek, Australia) and have set my A-Event as such.

Background:
I have set myself on the Low-Volume plan and will admit I have been 75% adherent to the scheduled “workouts” but if I miss a scheduled workout I will get on the following day and use “TrainNow” option. Sometimes this is not working the same “Target” as the initial workout.

Problem:
Because I have missed a few of the scheduled workouts and I look at the plan I fear that the numbers that are stated in the actual plan are too high (even thought they are rated Productive or Achievable) and I often choose the recommended “TrainNow” option.
By doing this I now have this nagging thought that I am jeopardising event which is causing a very unhealthy aversion to actually training pushing up my perceived RPE.
I had a period 12 months ago where my Ramp Test gave me a 22w increase in FTP (AUG) and I used it to train for 2 months and blew up and needed to retest dropping my FTP 51w ( As I struggled I doubled down on nutrition focus, sleep etc. but couldn’t seem to rectify, have engaged a Psychologist to see if there is a mental component). This has scarred me a bit if I’m honest.

Question:
I do realise that plans are Adaptive but is my fear is if I do the “Prescribed” workout rather than the “Train Now” Option might overcook me (a repeat of last year). Should I do the workouts in the plan as prescribed given they are rated Achievable and Productive and just trust the process? or is my fear rational.

I would appreciate any advice, I am sure there are some people in the forum who have been in a similar boat. Also, if there are similar threads along this line please point me toward them.

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TrainNow bases its recommendations on the exact same numbers as in your workouts. If you can manage your TrainNow workouts, you will be able to manage your scheduled workouts as well.

It seems that you are unnecessarily stressing yourself out. The best (≠ theoretically optimal) training regimen is the one that you can follow.

If you cannot follow a training plan now, just delete the plan and do, 2–3 workouts per week using TrainNow. Make sure that what you are doing is enjoyable for you. Cycling is supposed to be fun, a hobby, an escape, a challenge.

Clearly, I don’t fully understand what is going on in your life. But ideally, cycling should be an escape, something that you can use to heal yourself. I wouldn’t focus on FTP or any other numbers if I were you. Instead, try to make cycling something you look forward to.

Any form of regular exercise will make you better at a sport, so don’t worry whether you will see less gains than if you were following another training regimen. Rather than comparing yourself to your (in your own mind) optimal version of yourself, try to improve yourself day-by-day.

@OreoCookie Thank you for responding

This was my assumption but there was a pang of doubt, I will jump back on board!

Precisely the approach I have been attempting and appreciate confirmation that it is mostly a mind thing which I will work through!

Thanks again