Probably too long, but hope this helps -
So, I think I get what you’re going thru. I started cycling when I was 14 because my friends had bikes and one of my brothers was cycling as a sport.
So, got a bike, and on the day I got cycling shoes, went out for a training ride and was hit by a car. Lost sense of smell, right side paralyzed, in a coma for 8 days, and so on. My first think I asked when I came to in the hospital after being told what happened, “how’s the bike?” My life plan involved cycling and think I had a reasonable shot at it. This event was a big glitch.
I get home, a while later I get another bike and ride for maybe a year and take a break. Cut to the 30s when I ended up with some health issues. After some surgeries for this,I started cycling again and of course, got hit by a few more cars, the last causing lasting problems with my right foot / ankle and hip. I ignore things until I couldn’t and then did four surgeries and at that point, cycling and running are done - not possible. I felt lost.
Cut forward a couple of years and thanks to an amazing PT,I got a recumbent bike (trike actually). I’d guess I’ve had more than a dozen PT. I’ve seen surgeons all over the southeast. In total had more than 10 surgeries of all sorts, but this PT’s help and suggestion allows me to ride, and this makes me feel OK again. It makes a huge difference and IMO TR helps with this too. Plan the work, work the plan - they make it pretty simple. Sure, you’ve got to do the workouts, but may be something worth looking into. For me, the angle of my hips is such that there isn’t much pain or pressure on my hip or back and my lack of dorsiflexion in my ankle is minimized.
My health issues require a less than optimal diet and so I know the whole diet and struggles and limitations around diet.
Riding can do all sorts of positive things. Helps you loose weight, helps you find reasons to view life in positive way, gets you to feel good about yourself, keeps you busy / focused. While you may not feel motivated, you just need to take a step forward and keep going forward without really thinking about it (do I want to do this, make this effort, etc. You just do it). Don’t worry about bad days that will happen, just remember how you felt when you were able to ride and that you enjoyed it.
Know that are other folks out there who have gotten knocked down or around and while they had to spend time away from cycling, they are eventually able to find a way back.