Struggling to get my stuff together (a confession)

Well, I think I would say that folks clearly crave sugary things and your body definitely adjusts to needing it. We don’t crave granulated sugar because we never consume sugar in it’s granulated form so it’s hard to crave something you never eat. That would be like why don’t we consume raw meat?

yeah, that is what I use around this time of year as I look to shed my winter weight. It helps, but it ain’t the same (or as satisfying to me) as a good old fashioned soda.

But I will take sparking water over a diet soda anyday…

one other thought for the OP…losing weight is like a savings account. You make the first few deposits in return. But once you get past the initial sluggishness of gains, you start to see the benefits and you start to want to make the deposits because the gains are growing on top of each other and it becomes motivating.

I’m where you are now, but a little younger and lighter (and chocolate over ice-cream!).
Persistent hip injury means I’ve ridden 10km in the last 6 months (testing to see physio meant if it had got better - answer was no). Lockdown means I rarely leave the house and have no gym access. Boredom means I’ve been eating way too much junk, and all I do is sit at my desk or on the sofa.

I know of people doing dry January - I don’t have an issue with booze so I’m trying to do the same with chocolate. I’m not going to buy it, and what we have I’m going to let my daughter eat. I’ve got some extra apples that I like, and some squash (not sure of the US translation - cordial?) and instead of eating chocolate I’m having an apple or something to drink instead. The aim is to turn it back into a treat rather than something I eat when bored.

I think that for me, the hip and lack of exercise is the reason why it’s so hard to be good with everything else. I’m going to try to get the physio to add in a bunch of extra exercises so it’s more interesting and offers more opportunity to feel like I’m training rather than just doing rehab (also, preferably build it into something to do every day rather than every few days). Assuming physio doesn’t get postponed again that is. :frowning: Good luck, and let us know how you’re getting on.

I can n=1 attest to this. I went “keto” for a year and my first 2 weeks were brutal as my body & brain withdrew from carbs (aka sugar). Addiction? Maybe not. Addiction-like? Definitely.


To the OP, as others have alluded to, your food choices are most likely the result of other conditions/situations in your life, not the other way around. Just something to think about.

This is an interestingly cultural thing. It’s much more prevalent in the US than in other countries, and you’ll often find it runs in families - if soft drinks were never in your home as a child, there’s a good chance there’s none in your habits as an adult. Note that the same can be noted with many positive as well as negative habits - smoking, alcohol, exercise, outdoor activities…

Yes, we crave things that taste nice. That is very different from craving “sugar”. If it was purely the sugar, we would go anywhere to get that fix. However, we only go for the nice stuff, not the crunchy stuff available cheaply by the 500g bag!

That’s your opinion. I think there is evidence that sugar affects the body at a chemical level. Sugar intake causes your body to release insulin. High levels of insulin in the body drop blood sugar causing you to want to eat more sugar to balance your blood sugar again. It has very little to do with taste.

I hear you man. I’m about the same age and have about the same amount of weight to lose. It’s very daunting to think about the number on the scale and compare it to where we want to be.

I’ve also dealt with some injures in the last few years - broken wrist that required surgery and a plate installed, and a jacked up elbow on my other arm from overuse.

Dealing with injury, covid, depression, weightloss, and eating issues is a lot.

So here’s my fellow old man .02 from dealing with similar issues -

  1. Give yourself some grace. You’re a good person and you don’t have to beat yourself up, despite whether you succeed or fail at the things that are bothering you.

  2. Find a PT for the hip and maybe pay to get a bike fit. You need to fix the current hip issue and figure out how to prevent it in the future.

  3. Maybe don’t think about the bike or cycling during PT/rehab. Watch some old movies on TCM, take up baking bread, read some books, play some new video games. I know I need a cognitive break from the bike every now and then.

  4. Start eating better. I know that’s a ridiculously vague statement - but I’ll bet you know what it means. Eat a balanced diet, reduce (but don’t eliminate) the sweets, and drink more water than beer. I recommended checking out cookbooks on simple Mediterranean Diet recipes.

  5. As others posted above, there’s nothing to be ashamed of with depression. If you think it’s clinical (or if you’re not sure), find someone to talk to. If you don’t want to take that step, there are great youtube and udemy channels on these subjects. I’m taking a udemy course now on PTSD. It’s self guided and I can watch it whenever I have spare time.

The bike will be there when it’s time. Good luck!

My 2 cents. I’m no psychologist but sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom before finding a way forward. From my point-of-view, all of the bullet items you listed are deep seated in your emotional brain, not your logical brain. IMHO you need to attack this emotionally rather than logically, whatever that means (to you). Somehow you have to reprogram the reward system in your brain. My preference is to hit it with a hammer, sort of like a master reset. But thats just me, not suggesting that is right for you. Hope that helps.

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Maybe you only go for the “nice stuff” but I will happily scoop spoonfuls of granulated sugar, brown sugar, maple sugar, maple syrup.
There’s no way I’m alone in this.
When I want sugar I could care less what form it comes in.

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Honestly, I would unpack the “stressed and overworked” part of your list first. I am on a journey from where you are, and the first real progress came from changing jobs and changing my outlook on work. That may seem impossible in the immediate term, but start making a plan to move on or find a way to not be as stressed at the job you have. Job stress kills eventually, if you are trapped in a role due to finances, scale back because you only have one life. You have a constant cortisol drip going on which has all kinds negative health effects (doctors can chime in here).

For me, job stress made me crave the sugar and junk more. That mood boost from sweets is short lived and by eating poorly I only added to my list of problems. There is a guy Simon Sinek who gave a talk called “Why Leaders Eat Last”, he digs in a little bit to what a bad work environment does physiologically as opposed to a good one. He mentions the cortisol drip.

You need to snap a chalkline and start building on a new foundation altogether. I know this because I was you. I can feel it in the tone of your post.


Yep I’m doing this. I’ve rested it …6 weeks off the bike :~(. I am pretty much pain free by couch surfing at the moment, but know it would flair back up right away (tried once or twice and it’s been the pattern). I saw a physio (specializing in cyclists) a week ago and have daily strengthening exercise.

Crossing fingers that I can get this under control soon and back on bike without pain.

My 120 lb Wife loves to bring crap into the house “for the kids”. Today it’s chocolates. yesterday cinnamon buns. When I say something she says show discipline and don’t eat it. … 25 years married and do NOT run this house!

If it’s not me buying crap it’s her.

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I’m Right there with you.

Grab a notebook, start a food journal. Think about the things that you can control right now. First you can control your diet, write down what you will eat and stick to it. Throw away the junk food and don’t buy it. Build on successful days, and soon you will be on track

OP I appreciate all of you and your ideas and kind thoughts. Lots to think about.

On reflection, and probably typical of me, I got caught up in the process. I’d echo what others have said - the stresses and depression are what I’d suggest you need to look at first, with the eating being symptomatic of those.

I’m not a doctor, but I vividly remember a doctor telling me that in his view, chronic, unmanaged stress is as dangerous and life-limiting as smoking a pack a day.

" Ignore the crowd that is down on artificial sweeteners."

Other than posting a general statement, why?

All the best,


That’s tough. Does she not realize that she’s priming the kids to end up with the struggles of excess weight or diabetes down the road?

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