Struggling to get my stuff together (a confession)

I can n=1 attest to this. I went “keto” for a year and my first 2 weeks were brutal as my body & brain withdrew from carbs (aka sugar). Addiction? Maybe not. Addiction-like? Definitely.

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To the OP, as others have alluded to, your food choices are most likely the result of other conditions/situations in your life, not the other way around. Just something to think about.

This is an interestingly cultural thing. It’s much more prevalent in the US than in other countries, and you’ll often find it runs in families - if soft drinks were never in your home as a child, there’s a good chance there’s none in your habits as an adult. Note that the same can be noted with many positive as well as negative habits - smoking, alcohol, exercise, outdoor activities…

Yes, we crave things that taste nice. That is very different from craving “sugar”. If it was purely the sugar, we would go anywhere to get that fix. However, we only go for the nice stuff, not the crunchy stuff available cheaply by the 500g bag!

That’s your opinion. I think there is evidence that sugar affects the body at a chemical level. Sugar intake causes your body to release insulin. High levels of insulin in the body drop blood sugar causing you to want to eat more sugar to balance your blood sugar again. It has very little to do with taste.

I hear you man. I’m about the same age and have about the same amount of weight to lose. It’s very daunting to think about the number on the scale and compare it to where we want to be.

I’ve also dealt with some injures in the last few years - broken wrist that required surgery and a plate installed, and a jacked up elbow on my other arm from overuse.

Dealing with injury, covid, depression, weightloss, and eating issues is a lot.

So here’s my fellow old man .02 from dealing with similar issues -

  1. Give yourself some grace. You’re a good person and you don’t have to beat yourself up, despite whether you succeed or fail at the things that are bothering you.

  2. Find a PT for the hip and maybe pay to get a bike fit. You need to fix the current hip issue and figure out how to prevent it in the future.

  3. Maybe don’t think about the bike or cycling during PT/rehab. Watch some old movies on TCM, take up baking bread, read some books, play some new video games. I know I need a cognitive break from the bike every now and then.

  4. Start eating better. I know that’s a ridiculously vague statement - but I’ll bet you know what it means. Eat a balanced diet, reduce (but don’t eliminate) the sweets, and drink more water than beer. I recommended checking out cookbooks on simple Mediterranean Diet recipes.

  5. As others posted above, there’s nothing to be ashamed of with depression. If you think it’s clinical (or if you’re not sure), find someone to talk to. If you don’t want to take that step, there are great youtube and udemy channels on these subjects. I’m taking a udemy course now on PTSD. It’s self guided and I can watch it whenever I have spare time.

The bike will be there when it’s time. Good luck!

My 2 cents. I’m no psychologist but sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom before finding a way forward. From my point-of-view, all of the bullet items you listed are deep seated in your emotional brain, not your logical brain. IMHO you need to attack this emotionally rather than logically, whatever that means (to you). Somehow you have to reprogram the reward system in your brain. My preference is to hit it with a hammer, sort of like a master reset. But thats just me, not suggesting that is right for you. Hope that helps.

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Maybe you only go for the “nice stuff” but I will happily scoop spoonfuls of granulated sugar, brown sugar, maple sugar, maple syrup.
There’s no way I’m alone in this.
When I want sugar I could care less what form it comes in.

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Honestly, I would unpack the “stressed and overworked” part of your list first. I am on a journey from where you are, and the first real progress came from changing jobs and changing my outlook on work. That may seem impossible in the immediate term, but start making a plan to move on or find a way to not be as stressed at the job you have. Job stress kills eventually, if you are trapped in a role due to finances, scale back because you only have one life. You have a constant cortisol drip going on which has all kinds negative health effects (doctors can chime in here).

For me, job stress made me crave the sugar and junk more. That mood boost from sweets is short lived and by eating poorly I only added to my list of problems. There is a guy Simon Sinek who gave a talk called “Why Leaders Eat Last”, he digs in a little bit to what a bad work environment does physiologically as opposed to a good one. He mentions the cortisol drip.

You need to snap a chalkline and start building on a new foundation altogether. I know this because I was you. I can feel it in the tone of your post.

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Yep I’m doing this. I’ve rested it …6 weeks off the bike :~(. I am pretty much pain free by couch surfing at the moment, but know it would flair back up right away (tried once or twice and it’s been the pattern). I saw a physio (specializing in cyclists) a week ago and have daily strengthening exercise.

Crossing fingers that I can get this under control soon and back on bike without pain.

My 120 lb Wife loves to bring crap into the house “for the kids”. Today it’s chocolates. yesterday cinnamon buns. When I say something she says show discipline and don’t eat it. … 25 years married and do NOT run this house!

If it’s not me buying crap it’s her.

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I’m Right there with you.

Grab a notebook, start a food journal. Think about the things that you can control right now. First you can control your diet, write down what you will eat and stick to it. Throw away the junk food and don’t buy it. Build on successful days, and soon you will be on track

OP I appreciate all of you and your ideas and kind thoughts. Lots to think about.

On reflection, and probably typical of me, I got caught up in the process. I’d echo what others have said - the stresses and depression are what I’d suggest you need to look at first, with the eating being symptomatic of those.

I’m not a doctor, but I vividly remember a doctor telling me that in his view, chronic, unmanaged stress is as dangerous and life-limiting as smoking a pack a day.

" Ignore the crowd that is down on artificial sweeteners."

Other than posting a general statement, why?

All the best,
Steve

:slight_smile:

That’s tough. Does she not realize that she’s priming the kids to end up with the struggles of excess weight or diabetes down the road?

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Great and courageous post.

I’m in no position to give advice but have suffered with motivations in the past. Often this has stemmed from my obsession with comparing myself to others and my past self. I don’t try to be the rider I was 5 years ago, copy the riding patterns of friends in a bid to ‘keep up’ etc. I’m trying to be the best I can be today - part of that is eating as well as I can today and doing the ride on my plan. I trust that the process may lead me to the future version of myself which I strive for. I think is what Amber calls ‘process goals’.

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This is one struggle I don’t have. I’m a “good athlete” when it comes to sports like martial arts, but SUCK compared to others on the bike (especially the hills). That said I love cycling for the peace and beauty of it and what I can do with my body.

I had a strong season despite the pain. What I do is “compete with myself” using stats like improvement in power numbers. What was unique about this season was I was probably the best cardio shape of my life. There was time I rode with buddy against his ebike (he wasn’t much of a cyclist but I crushed it) and I had an amazing day of sprinting and recovering, sprinting and recovering over and over. I am still bottom 10% in Fondos, etc. but I still likely better than the couch potato’s that can’t do a 122 km uphill at 225lbs. Reality is I’m probably more a “sprinter” in my stats but do endurance events.

I suggest you do is track your metrics and use that as your motivation. When I see my 5 sec to 20 min all going up I know I am heading in the right direction.

Oh and I occasionally “throw away the TR rule book” and open up the throttle to see what my body can do (every 6 weeks or so).

That said the end of the season was rough and I was limping to walk and didn’t even noticed I grunted in pain anymore until the wife pointed it out. I just dream of what I’d be like without being overweight and plagued with injuries. I had a bad fall (multiple broken ribs and a surgery to put in a plate), the next season a hernia surgery, then the next season 2 seasons hip issues and potentially a 2nd hernia (yet confirmed).

Cycling has been something I’ve used for mental health and I’m frustrated with my body and the medical system…and frankly aging is frustrating too (although there are older guys way better shape than me).

I am not sitting on my ass though (not a quitter nor do I spend time feeling sorry). I’ve:

  • rested the hip for 6 weeks and now doing daily rehab on hip and back
  • daily walks
  • booked a nutritionist through work (today)
  • calling around for a reference for a good counselor (today)
  • antidepressants (several years)
  • getting the treadmill fixed (probably shouldn’t be smoking right?)
  • talking to you guys for ideas
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So I don’t really have a presence on here, but I think we walk in similar shoes. Hopefully this will help.

I am 51 yo, 5ft 11 in, weigh 209, bi-lateral hip replacement about 10 years ago, full time job, stress from kids, work, etc. Last year I realized that I really let myself go and I needed to do something about it. Started TR in August. I walk several miles a day, use an elliptical and I blew the dust off the weights.

  • First things first, acknowledge the things that you have done and are doing to control things. A friend of mine will remind me that I am lapping all of the folks sitting on the couch.
  • Consult your physician and make a plan. Once you start doing things, like walking a mile a day, isometric workouts, etc., it will lead to other gains. Start with things that work with your rehab and schedule.
  • Recognize that this isn’t a “one and done”. You are going to make mistakes and you aren’t always going to eat properly (I love Orange Slices). Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity. Just take it a day at a time and pick yourself up.
  • Look at using an App to record what you are eating. It is a place to start and it will help you control your intake.

I think PusherMan has a good point about that a change in Mindset will likely help. Remember this is a struggle and you are an athlete. If this was easy, everyone would do it.

Good Luck!

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