Putting on all your winter cycling kit is the best laxative in the world

Not just some winter kit. All of it. Base layer, knee warmers, long bibs, gator tips, shoe covers, pogues if you got 'em but your heaviest gloves for sure. Gillet. Neck buff…that, too. Bike has to be ready to go also. Put your hand on the door knob for 30 seconds.

That will break loose the most solid constipation. Guaranteed.


Haha… true enough. It’s even worse when bikepacking as you then have to go and dig a hole somewhere before you can do anything!

…plus of course, squatting with your bits out in the freezing cold. :grimacing:

stuck in the middle of nowhere without a soul in sight and you need help. start to pee, 8000 cars will drive by. lol


The mere reading of this post and visualization triggered quite nicely.


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Yup. Missed a group ride because I had to answer the call of nature right as I was heading out. Then it was a case of getting undressed and going back to bed.


so will having Mary Austin or Leconte on the calendar for the day.


This is the best thread. Five stars


This is why I get up 2 hours before an 8am group ride every Saturday. I hit the coffee first thing to get things flowing and then start making breakfast. Sometimes I even do my workout warm-up routine to get things to move faster - lunges, twists, squats, planks, etc.


I thought that’s why they added the cutout in the saddle?



Back when I was racing tri’s, putting on my wetsuit was a Pavlovian call for me to pee…I could have just hit the porta-potty, but the second that zipper was up, I had to pee again. Never fails.

Luckily you are basically wearing a mobile portapotty at that point, so… :zipper_mouth_face:

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I’m the same, I think there is actually some kind of bro/made-up science in it due to pressure changes on your body from the wetsuit and water submersion… I need to pee within literally thirty seconds of getting in the water.


Me: Now, self, are you sure you don’t need to go?
Also me: Yesssssss
Me: Are you positive?
Also me: Yesssssss
Me: Okay. (puts on gear, gets within 5 feet of trainer)
Also me: I have to go!


Nope…I’m not even in the water. I’m still on dry land when it happens. :flushed: :joy:

One race I was standing there with a buddy, waiting to get in the water, needing to pee…said “I can’t wait until we can get in the water so I can pee!” He looked at me and said “Why wait? I’m peeing right now!”

Realized then and there that there was almost no difference between peeing in a wetsuit on dry land and then entering the water vs. waiting…and literally zero difference between that and peeing on the bike.

I no longer wait… :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


I hope you don’t eat too much asparagus :face_vomiting:



That reminds me! I have a wetsuit for sale. Only used about two dozen times.

$100 OBO.


For me, it’s my full-on bad weather fishing gear. Parka, base layers, insulated snow bibs, gloves, then get in the boat and get about 10- 15 minutes away from the cabin, resort, etc. Guaranteed to generate a severe spontaneous gastrointestinal response.

It also provides for great practice in rapid boat landing and evacuation maneuvers as well…

Vile weed. :wink:

Works with ski gear as well. You do have to put on the boots, however. Helmet helps.

  • Where’s George?
  • Having a pre-ride press conference.