This is a slighty weird question, but since there’s a whole thread here on felines, maybe people will understand. I had to have my cat euthanised on Monday after a long decline in her health that was also quite stressful. I’ve not been able to do any training since about a week before her death and I finally climbed on the turbo today but felt too tired and unmotivated to do a proper workout. It was weirdly upsetting because the cat would usually wander round the room while I was training and sleep on the bed or look out of the window. Unfortunately when I look out of the window while training I now see her (rather messy) grave in the garden. I do want to get back into it, because life must go on, but I’m now thinking that maybe I’ll treat it like recovery from illness and do a few Z2 rides until I’m more used to the new cat-less situation. Unfortunately the weather is too gnarly to do much outside, though that would probably be better for my mental health. Thoughts?
Sorry for your loss. But it’s pretty obvious that you’re grieving. And that’s fine. I’d be inconsolable for days if my cat passed away. I don’t even think riding my bike would be anywhere near my mind. I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s like losing a family member. And a massive stress. Give yourself time. Some people may be able to get over the loss of a pet quickly, but I sure wouldn’t. It sounds like they meant a lot to you so stop stressing about the bike for a little and let your body/mind process the loss. Unless you’re a paid athlete, riding is a hobby for us. Don’t force yourself if you don’t need to.
Thanks, that’s very kind and thoughtful. I felt like I was doing ok yesterday but I feel pretty shit again today, and something about the routine of the turbo really set me off. But partly I also want to get back into training because it helps my mental health. I think I’ll just do short sessions or easy ones and just figure it out day by day.
My cat loves to be with me on the trainer. Even going into the workout room gets her excited. She’ll literally sit on my handlebars for hours while I ride. All this to say that I have no doubt that if she passed away I wouldn’t be able to go near the trainer for a while without thinking of her.
But I also get that riding can be a distraction and take your mind away from grief. Cycling has always been a form of therapy for me. So maybe you just free ride for a bit and forget about intensity. Just ride to feel good again and forgo anything that requires deep focus or intensity.
Good vibes going your way.
What a funny cat and funny picture! I think sometimes they get very interested in intensity and energy. I was always very aware of the bizarre contrast of me sweating and gasping and the cat having a little snooze on the bed.
Sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things to deal with.
Give yourself some time and you’ll be ready to train when you are ready.
IMO training isn’t worth making yourself feel worse over.
I’d suggest going for a walk instead, maybe jog if you’re feeling it. Change of scenery, change of routine. Come back in a week or two if you’re up to it…
I worked at a position that had a bunch of incredible people (both positive and negative, but the positive) When I had to put down our Russian Blue cat, I was gutted much as you were. He was the animal that gave my wife the idea that I was a keeper. He loved me, and her obviously, and the three of us went through a whole lot over the many years. College, med school, residency, the ups and down of moving several times, and the times he was ‘bunking with mom’ while we negotiated all of our lives.
And he was misdiagnosed by a horrifically uncaring veterinarian and started an up/down process of slowly wasting away, with some recoveries. He had hyper-thyroid disease. He would occasionally have flareups where he would lose weight and be very dizzy. One night during a flareup I came up with the idea to see if he’d eat some of a can of baby shrimp, and the image if me sitting on the floor feeding one after another to him in the semidarkness clings in my mind to this day. We rebounded and didn’t have a elapse for about 3 years. Until I saw him walking down the hall leaning against the wall again. His common reaction to the incredible weakness he was experiencing. I took the day off and tried to get him to eat, and he was just too weak this time. I rushed him to the godsend vet who diagnosed him and did her best to play catch up. But this time, he was beyond our efforts to bring him back. I held his weak and shrunken body as he looked at me and the needle was inserted. I think he was gone in a fraction of a second. His racked body finally submitting to the disease we all fought.
So to the place I worked. I called in and said that I’d be at work the next day, and said that I had to put down my best furry friend. They said no, take your time, and gave me the ‘family bereavement’ time off, with pay. And I needed that time. Just seeing his toys and bed and the medicine left over and his special food would gut me again.
It took a while to get my footing in a world without seeing him standing there waiting for brekkies and always looking so judgemental at our lives. I was embarrassed when I got back to work but people there ware hugging me and giving me time, which I surprisingly didn’t know I needed.
Take time off, be good to yourself! People said ;it’s just a cat’ with sharp judgemental eyes, but they are the monsters. He was a continuing presence in our lives, slept on my chest when I was sick, sat up with my wife during her studying, would wait ont he roof of mom’s house until he saw us coming down the road. How I miss that cat, even now…
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. 
I’ve had many pets in my life and they have always been an important part of my family. I know it’s not easy to lose them.
It sounds like you’ve got the right idea and a lot of others have already supported it. Don’t force any riding that you don’t feel like doing. Take the time off you need, and start slow when you’re ready. I think you’re right about treating this like an illness. With all the stress you’ve experienced, your body is probably in a similar state anyway.
This time is important, so make sure you’re focusing on your mental health before feeling pulled back into training. If some easy spins help, I’d say go for it! Bikes serve that purpose for many of us, but if it doesn’t feel right yet, don’t worry. It will one day.
Sending our thoughts your way!
Take care,
Eddie 
Romeo 
& Tallulah 
I recently had to put down my friend, Pablo, a little chihuahua-poodle mix that I rescued. This was a couple of months ago. He had a little heated bed near my trainer where he would cheer me on between naps. I’m still grieving. He was the best training buddy. Let yourself grieve. Its real. Be kind to yourself. You will know when your body is ready to continue, until then let yourself experience all the emotions so you can process them. Any pet parent will understand this.
Sorry for your loss. I don’t have any specific advice other than to give yourself whatever time to grieve and adjust that you need. These lil critters leave a big hole when the move on and that is worthy of all the time and thought you need for you & them.
Sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing earlier this year, i rode out of anger and stress management. I think your idea of mostly zone 2 rides is a good idea, for what its worth.
It’s different but also the same, I’ve got a thread about my bereavement (sudden loss of my mum) and one thing I learnt is you can’t force it.
I tried scheduling in stuff to feel normal and it was a facade I had plans but couldn’t follow through. Take more time, do a train now session but expect to just not do it.
It’s still very hard but it’s not as hard as it was. Internet hug from me. And for a bit of humour after a few months i stopped crying myself to sleep, instead I decided waking up crying worked better!
Thanks! The shrimp story is lovely and I’m sorry about your beautiful cat. I have a photo of me and the cat sitting on a sun lounger in the garden in early spring two years ago, doing nothing in particular, just hanging out on a nice day. That really sums up the sense of companionship for me.
Luckily I am surrounded by understanding people but I do feel a bit embarassed, because so much worse goes on in people’s lives (aging parents, sick spouses), but I feel the loss pretty strongly right now.
Do not feel embarrassed. It’s shit, and it’s ok to feel shit.
Just because someone has it worse doesn’t negate your pain. If that was the case then only one person at a time could be sad as someone somewhere has it worse. If that were the case who close to me would be allowed to grieve? Her sister who is the last of the side, me the eldest son, my brother the youngest or dad who’s lost his wife? Everyone is allowed to feel sad and don’t let anyone say otherwise.
Feel better soon but take it as it comes.
Just wanted to say that I’m so sorry, and that people who don’t understand have never had companions like yours. Take the time you need, and listen to your body. I agree about maybe going out for a walk or something for a change of scenery. Maybe move something in the room where your trainer is so it feels a little different, if you really need to get on the bike and it’s crap outside? But the loss is real. And it doesn’t matter that others may have worse hands dealt them. Your emotions are just as important and significant. Big hugs!!
thank you!
thanks for your kind words
Thank you! And good idea about changing the room. I might even move the trainer to a different room for a little while.
Oh, I’m so very sorry for your loss!