Temporary measures to address imbalances due to a long-standing patriarchy. We don’t need to be women to understand that surely.
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Righto then.
It’s just a self-effacing and objective view of who we are - not who we like to think of ourselves as.
Being aware of the sexual elements of a friendship, whether they are weak or strong, one-sided or mutual, is just sensible imo. But to assume they are non existent would be naive.
There’s a lot of focus on identity and identity politics at the moment - not that this is a bad thing - but we’re in danger of forgetting that our socially constructed identities are only part of who and what we are.
…Which is a very long winded way of saying, yes train with people of any gender but be aware of their feelings and your partners! 
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Not at my age
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Maintain good boundaries and prioritize your partner and relationship. I’d avoid any training with someone of the opposite sex that wasn’t a group ride.
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Trust issues suck
To provide a different perspective, I have always had plenty of platonic guy friends. In fact, as a single female who would like to find a guy who shares a love of cycling (or another outdoor sport) and understands my need to train and race, it can be hard to:
A) identify the single guys (cycling gloves hide wedding bands etc) and generally most guys are friendly so I find it hard to figure out who may be dating potential.
B) find guys not threatened by the fact I’m a strong cyclist. Though now I’m training with faster cyclists, this seems less of an issue.
C) not end up in the friend zone. I’m shy at first and usually focussed on cycling (and being in the moment) rather than flirting etc so can be completely oblivious to guys that might actually like me
I’n this sport dominated by males, I thought it would be easier, lol
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I don’t think the either-or that you posited in your earlier post is neither objective nor correct. It just strikes me as a consequence of an upbringing where genders were kept separate.
That seems like a tense attitude and is not my experience. It reminds me of sauna culture in Germany, Austria and Nordic countries where clothes inside the sauna are forbidden: when you are not used to it, it is easy to equate nudity with a sexual context. But as soon as you move beyond that, then this has passed and you are just being naked because you are in the sauna. Men are not there to check out naked women, but to relax.
The same goes for friendships: of course there are points when you evaluate how attractive you find someone, but then that quickly fades into the background. Note that much of that goes also if you have gay friends.
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Plus, for most men this isn’t a hobby they can share with their partners (married or not). My wife prefers yoga, bellydancing and the like.
Just to give you some comfort: most men are equally clueless. 
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I disagree.
It is ironic though isn’t it?
Whenever the gender ratio gets skewed too much in either direction, things get weird, especially when it comes to dating. Personally, I think a big reason why “yoga is for women” and “cycling is for men” is directly due to this notion that “there is no such thing as a platonic relationship”. The narrative pushed by a sex-obsessed society is something like: “What is this single guy doing in a yoga class full of women? What is this single lady doing in a group of male cyclists? They must be trying to get laid!” That kind of thinking should be discouraged because it just causes more gender segregation.
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This thing is like some kinda weird slo-mo circusy car crash. Should probably just burn down the entire thread.
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This area certainly is emotive for some, but it’s also a genuine concern for others who are considering joining or already participating in training groups/cycle clubs.
As long as everyone remains polite I don’t think the discussion should be shut down. The more we can do to encourage people to train together the better imo.
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And hence why I brought it up. I know people who have been accused of improper behaviors some of which we with the same sex some with the opposite. We as endurance athletes spend so much time away from or partners that they might just think that things might be going on that are not. This is one reason that I personally take the time to still date my wife.
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If this thread is a representative sample of gents I’m likely to encounter in a group ride:
- most of them would be friendly
- some of them would be actively suppressing their non-platonic feelings for the women in the group
- at least one of them would be ogling our Lycra
All of that is roughly what I’d expect, but I wouldn’t characterize any of it as “encouraging”.
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This goes real deep but in the end, if you have a healthy level of trust in the relationship, there won’t be any issues.
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If you put it like that, I’d agree. Personally in training cycling, running or swimming I’ve never seen anyone being “ogled” or anyone struggling to behave themselves.
But I think what we’ve said is that some people do train with others hoping to meet a partner, some people find themselves attracted to the people they train with, plenty of others don’t. Some people have partners they want to reassure, others don’t.
I would see it as no better or worse than any other social situation; cyclists, runners, triathletes are just people in the end. We don’t need to pretend that people don’t get attracted to each other to reassure our concerned partners, and at the same time we don’t need to frown on people who are looking for love with someone who has similar interests.
Perhaps thats not super encouraging, but it shouldn’t be discouraging either group from training together.
Just one point I would make. Not all roads here have to lead to a physical encounter to be something detrimental to a relationship. Even someone who has a high moral ground that would never “cheat” on their partner could find themselves in an emotional relationship. I think it’s something to be mindful of. Trust is not an absolute and there is no measurement that can be applied to every relationship and even every 3rd party to a relationship.
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What can us men do to make you and other women feel more welcome?
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Wow! That’s exactly what I was going to say…
stay single, solved
plus more time to train and not having to justify it
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