Yeah, more padding can also excacerbate the problem by adding more surface area to rub up against and making it harder to get a close-to-the-skin fit, sort of like how those big cushy saddles are usually not as helpful as a properly fitted one.
I’m of the same mind when it comes to tri shorts- I prefer my race suit to most of my ‘proper’ cycling bibs. I think part of that is that I have really narrow hips compared to most women, so it’s hard to find a pair of ladies bibs where the chamois isn’t way too wide for me. My race suit is so damn tight it’s not an issue there 