Save me from the wife

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So when taking my bike outside with the wheels off I’ve managed to scuff the stairs with my chain! I’ve given it a once over with baby wipes here so it’s a bit worse looking while damp, but any suggestions for removing bike oil from fabric are welcome!
Surely others have done similar when loading into cars etc.
I hope.

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Leave a pair of pants and/or socks on the stairs over the mark (preferably worn.) I’m sure that will work.

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Sell the house.

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I’ve saved our carpet from my wife’s bike mishandling with citrus degreaser

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If you have kids, lay a box of crayons spread around on the floor. :rofl:

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Soak in pH neutral degreaser (dish soap), rub and scrub, vacuum dry. Repeat until gone.

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I like the degreaser idea but you can also try a little diluted hydrogen peroxide, blot don’t scrub or that what my wife tells me.

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Extremely gently if scrubbing of course. You don’t want to rip fibers.

You’re gonna need something with some degreaser, so H202 probably won’t work.

I’d try a gentle hand soap or something like Dawn…

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I use folex for that. It’s amazing and they sell it at Home Depot.

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Whatever you use try it on the carpet in an inconspicuous place first. You don’t need to make a bad situation worse. On a side note, has your wife ever watched Dexter? How worried should we be for you? :wink:

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Dead man walking …

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Wax your chain

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Blame it on the dog? :dog2:

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Do what I do - create a much bigger stain elsewhere - this will look mild in comparison. Win !

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Burn the house

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This was my suggestion as well.

OR

Fake your own death

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These responses didn’t disappoint :joy:

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That looks exactly like what happens when a puppy wipes their rear on a carpet. If you don’t have a puppy go get one immediately.

When wife comes home and gushes over new puppy you say: “I dunno, I thought this was going to be a good idea but look what the little bastard did to the carpet already!!! I think I need to bring him back”. Your wife will then help with the stain removal in order to keep the puppy.

Sure, its a 10-15 year commitment to the dog but gotta do what you gotta do.

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Fake a burglary. Those pesky burglars and their dirty shoes!!

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