OP I fully understand where you’re coming from. A few years ago I went through something similar, not performance based but seeing people I knew van lifing, posting dream rides etc… it was really affecting me mentally (even though my strava would’ve probably seemed epic to other people) I ended up deleting the app and focusing on myself, comparison is the thief of joy as they say. I’m back on Strava, mostly to stay in touch with some distant friends, but cautious not to dwell too much on what other people are doing.
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This is what I have tried recently, with all social media. I find that I was only filling in time when I was bored and it wasn’t productive.
Nobody notices the reduced level of engagement. I only look at it on my desktop now, which allows me to be more present when I am away from my desk.
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I only use Strava to give kudos to friends. I go through maybe 1x 2x a week and kudo all my friends rides / runs
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If it’s having a negative effect on you then delete it. I got fed up with people commenting on my rides, one person asked if I’d had a headwind once , he’d looked at my times on some segments in the North Pennines and wondered why I’d not been faster, reason, because I was just enjoying the day and views. I genuinely believe that Strava has been on the whole a negative thing for cycling and running, I deleted my account and these days if I go somewhere interesting and take a few photos I’ll do a little write up and share it on Facebook to my friends, that’s all the attention I want, don’t need Strava Stalkers checking me out. It feels a bit strange at first when you are so used to using Strava, but after a while it’s a big relief not to have it.
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
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Make it “You vs. you”. There as always stronger and faster people, but the power of Strava lays in journaling and recording your progress. Going for 200 rides a year vs 220 rides a year can feel a bit pointless once the novelty factor wears off. Use Strava to look back on where you were a thousand rides ago and see if it made any difference.
I too chased average speed, KOMs and power PRs. Hell, I still do when the fancy takes me. But I learned there is always vast amounts of people faster than me, and that’s okay.
If anything, try to calculate quickly how many kCal you’ve burned on the bike and how heavy you’d be if you didn’t burn those 
I did that and was surprised to learn I’d weigh at least 400kg if I didn’t, so hurray for Strava!
Especially true for Strava Clubs, unless they are used to organize group rides. The leaderboards would not be helpful to you.
Additionally, as in all social networks, some people hijack them to grandstand or push their politics. I’ll choose other places to go if I want that. I prefer to just ride.
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Seeing other people posting rides motivates me to ride more. I like seeing routes the people I follow are riding, I like tracking my own stats, seeing if I get any PBs on segments and im kind of obsessed with the heatmaps. What average speed, power or how many KOMs someone else got has no bearing on my rides, I dont pay any attention to any of that
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Easy, strava for fun and poking fun at riding friends, the only comparison to make is the results sheet posted at the end of a race.
I do use it to gut check why I got dunked on in a race. “How did that guy beat me so bad?” “Oh, he is training 18 hours/week, and I have a real job that doesn’t accommodate that.”
Strava is my home base for logging activities. Mainly for my use, but we also have strava clubs and post rides, etc. I find it to be a mostly healthy environment. I’m not a KOM chaser (and I wouldn’t have many if I were), but I do find the segment statistics valuable. Particularly for racing. Segment analysis can be a great way to understand the effort required to be competitive on a given course and also can help inform pacing strategies. Of course, there are people who are much faster than me on Strava and that’s cool. I actually find it interesting and inspiring to see what really talented people can do (even knowing I’ll never be anywhere close to their level). If someone is bummed out by seeing faster folks on Strava, it’s probably best not to look at that stuff unless your last name is Pogacar. Cycling is a cruel sport with few winners and a big disparity between the talented and not so talented.
I’ve gone the gamut from stalking all my club mates and attacking every KOM in town to not giving a flip about Strava.
I never felt inferior though comparing myself to others. I found it interesting to see how much people were training and what Sauce said was their FTP.
One day, a cat 1 in my club stole one of my KOMs. The next day, a cat 1 female racer in our club stole it from him. I stole it back the next day and it still stands. It was probably my last, best victory as I am a mid-50s very average rider but with great 1-2 minute power. Wind conditions were favorable too. 
strava made me miserable, too. i would come home from a ride, happy with my day, see strava posts from friends who had ridden together in groups rides, and i would feel sad not to have been invited. often the reason that i was not invited was reasonable: i was too slow, too far away, not actually a close friend. sometimes the sense of being excluded was justified; i was excluded. i would see the their rides and, though i knew i had a better time on my own, would feel left out and sad. the comparisons with other people’s speeds did not make me miserable in the same way, but it also did not bring me joy. however, comparison with my past self did make me unhappy. the segments section of each ride and the comparison to a much younger version of myself was a needle in my side. i like have a record of each ride and i like adding to the years of records already there, so i didn’t want to give up on strava altogether. i stopped following any i knew personally. i now follow a couple of nonlocal pros. i also hid all the segments. the hiding off all the segments seems like a tedious exercise, but it wasn’t that bad. strava no longer makes me miserable and i like being able to look at each ride at the end of the day. trying to change my brain to make myself not be miserable looking at other people’s ride did not work, but stopping following people did.
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Interesting take.
I didn’t realize that working as an HVACR Technician wasn’t a “real job”.
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Most of the guys around me that are pulling those kind of hours either own their own small business that is well established and only needs part time management or finagled their way into a job that rarely takes them out of town + work from home.
If you are working 40+ hours a week, commuting and having to travel for work 25+% and being a spouse that is remotely available, you are my idol. I just can’t get it all to work and put those kind of hours in.
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I like Strava especially for the segment stuff. But, I have turned off almost all alerts and only check my feed 1-2x per week. I leave it on the training log window in a tab. There are times I like looking at it but other times it annoys me so I limit it. My feed it too full. If I checked it every day I’d waste too much time dorking around in there. For example, I still get a pang of guilt for not doing more group rides, especially when I see how often others do it. I like everyone in the 3 groups I can choose from but tend to be more of a loan wolf. I love riding alone for so many reasons. When I do check my feed I always get that feeling I should do more group rides. It’s one of the main reasons I limit it.
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I think I let things like comparing distances and what not affect me more when I didn’t have a well thought out plan that I trusted. Now, with my coach, I’ve got a training plan that I know is really helping me progress and is fitting into my life.
Would I be faster if I rode 20% this year like a couple of my friends? Probably. But I’d also have less time with my wife and my family and probably enjoy my life less.
The plan also means that when I go out on an easy Z2 ride or an endurance ride or I skip out on the super long group ride I know it’s for a reason. Either I’m recovering from the VO2 block, I have a threshold workout tomorrow, or I have a family event today and I got in what I could.
Also, sometimes I just like doing a chill 3 hour ride vs a 5 hour smash fest in an annoying group.
The miles don’t define me, the power doesn’t define me, the speed doesn’t define me. I know I’m doing what I want and like to do and that I’m putting in all the effort that I can to be better. Sometimes that effort is put into riding more and harder but many times that effort is put into pressing on the brake and resting and recovering.
But I agree with others, if Strava is affecting you this negatively then I’d delete it. Just make sure that you also have social cycling outlets. Have a semi-regular group ride that you join or something so that you still keep in touch with your friends (not that Strava or any social media should be used as a total replacement of social contact ever)
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One of the most important things I’ve learned is to accept what I’m not able or willing to change, think very carefully about what my priorities are, and work extremely hard at the things I want to change. I know I’ll never be a WT pro, but I’m very satisfied being able to eek out a little more fitness and improve my race results a little each year.
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Maybe you never felt inferior because you were always capable of winning another KOM?
I wonder how many people do have KOMs these days ( and I mean the proper public ones, not the ones that end in your back garden etc)
I definitely agree with a previous comment about Strava being the only comparison. I might only be able to ride for an hour compared to someone who can go out for 4 hours. But I can’t show how I supported my daughter with her sporting event, how I read to my son, how I spent ages fixing the toilet etc.
Strava is not the only comparison.
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Same here. 0 followers, following 0. It’s great.
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This sounds like a talk with a therapist, not a Strava or cycling issue. This is an underlying mental health problem it seems.
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