Poor sleep/anxiety

I am a light sleeper and hard to get sufficient REM & deep sleep. Now, from time to time, I use a bit of Meladol from Cibdol before bed, works like a charm. I definitely feel the difference on the bike when I get a proper 8 hours of quality sleep.

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I have recently found that taking 200mg of magnesium citrate/glycinate with my evening meal sets me up for managing waking up during the night really well. I now manage going to the toilet (keeping the light off) and getting back to sleep without any racing thoughts taking over.

From what I have read, it is apparent that endurance athletes can have a magnesium deficiency and that taking the required supplements can rectify this as well as have a positive impact on your bodies ability to cope with stress and anxiety. This has certainly been the case for me.

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I have dealt with exactly the same things as you, and in fact still do. Don’t feel any shame about seeing a therapist to talk things through, this is where I’ve made the most progress.

Definitely meditation, but I’ll take it one step further. If you are new to the practice, a good app is invaluable. I recommend 10% happier or Waking up apps. Sure they have great guided regular meditations, but they also have sleep meditations. There is no podcast or relaxing sounds that can get me relaxed like a body scan meditation can. On some of my worst nights, I can listen to that meditation, and if I don’t fall asleep during, I will shortly after. I seriously can’t recommend this step enough. If you are interested in trying 10% happier, shoot me a DM and I can get you a month free.

I’ve been going through a very stressful and traumatic time for the last few years and had the same sleep issues but have largely mitigated it by listening to a podcast…all night. Yep, for the last 2 years I’ve had the TR podcasts going for 7 hours a night, every night. If I wake up I immediately hear conversation about something that makes me happy rather than my mind dwelling on things that do not.

Some great tips on this thread. What’s being described affects everyone from time to time, some more serious than others. I know people who are at the top of their game who’ve benefitted from talking to a professional about it. Zero stigma.

On a lighter note, maybe this is sacrilegious but my go-to middle of the night solution is to put on the TR podcast. It’s just enough to divert my mind and once the discussion gets technical, I find I can easily drift off! Works almost every time!

I’m sure this isn’t the stated intention but I do love the team even more because of it.

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Chad will be so pleased to read that his in-depth explanations are literally being used as a cure for insomnia! :grin:

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There’s a lot of great advice on sleeping here. I won’t repeat it.

In regards to the thoughts, my advice is do everything possible to ignore, remove or eliminate those feelings or emotions. Do not compare yourself to other people. You are your own man or woman. What other people have or have not done is totally and utterly irrelevant.

Do not get caught up in a trivial race to nowhere.

There is no rate at when or how much you should have succeeded. Just saying this demonstrates how illogical it is. It is an arbitrary creation you’ve manifested based on nothing more than conjecture.

Don’t focus on the past, focus on the present. Have an eye on the future, but don’t wait for it, like this future end result will bring success and happiness. Do that today. Live now, enjoy now. You have immediate control over now.

Finally, I bet, compared to millions, maybe billions of people, you are doing just great.

In short, don’t worry, be happy. Sing it now… :smile:

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This book has been revolutionary for me - https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Book-Well-Every-Night/dp/1499250533/

Basically says that relying on routines, hacks, tracking, potions, pills, gadgets etc will never work long term and you have to learn to control the mind.

I haven’t figured out how to have great sleep hygiene myself, although I am trying.

But I wanted to comment on the psychological aspects. I have had phases where my sleeping pattern resembled yours, usually because of similar feelings of inadequacy at my job and sometimes because of other life pressures. My sleep during all of December was a mess, because I was processing my mom’s recent (serious) cancer diagnosis.

I don’t know you personally, so please take this with more than a grain of salt. But the way you write and the fact that you are on TR indicate to me that you have very high expectations of yourself and you are used to succeeding. I wouldn’t be surprised if others considered you very successful, it is just that your yard stick for success is different. Say, you are a mediocre NBA basketball player. You’ll never make MVP, but you’re there, putting in your hours. Are you successful? When compared to Kobe Bryant, Michael Jordan or Dirk Nowitzki, nope. Failure. But just making it into the NBA is a huge thing that requires a combination of talent and hard work. Huge success.

I don’t know how much of that applies to you, but try to check whether your yard stick is right. If you feel like you are in a bit of a rut and you feel trapped, try to find other options for yourself. And don’t define success solely by how successful you are at your job. Don’t forget family, friends and hobbies, if you eff up at work, you can still be a great partner or father. You can still help friends who need it. Opening my mind to these broader criteria for self worth have helped me. That and eating better and doing sports (i. e. cycling).

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phillyh17, you’re not alone with this.
I am sorry that I probably can’t offer any real help except that has been already said. Focus on what you have, look at your close ones, see them supporting you - you’re still important to them and it doesn’t depend on your achievements.
If you feel it, don’t be afraid to visit a mental health professional. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Probably he or she will help you to figure this out.

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I echo the thoughts of those recommending that your thinking is serious enough to warrant a therapist, a pysch to help with the depressive thinking pattern. This could have wider benefits, eg, helping you identify and dealing with the underlying cause, will be good for your general well being. You may also get some feedback that helps your training directly. And maybe they will recommend you also need a sleep test.

Which of these is the cause vs the effect as they are all interrelated, it needs expert help.

Many people think that you have to be obese, heavy smoker and drinker to be a apnea sufferer. I’m the opposite.

The fact that you have exposed your worries here is very courageous. Hats off to you. You clearly want to deal with the holistic aspect, so don’t delay book in with a psych, asap. I’m sure there will be many here who would like to hear your future recovery story.

Take care.

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Proud of all the positive remarks with self care and therapy. You can of course work on better night time rituals and they will help, but if you don’t get to the root of the issue anxiety is likely to return.

These are wise words here. As athletes serious enough to undergo intensive training programs it’s likely that we all tend to set high expectations in all aspects of our lives. I can relate to the OPs perspective as I’m my harshest critic. That can be helpful in the right dose, but when it’s keeping you up at night, it stops being useful. Don’t shy away from seeking a professional.

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I can relate and understand where you’re coming from.

Try and limit liquids a few hours before beds. Stay off screens going into bed. Find something that relaxes you. Find something to read.

I’m a big fan of the Calm app. Lots of modes on there but I keep it on a timer or even listen to one of their bedtime stories (sounds silly, I made fun of it) but it really worked.

During the day develop a list on what you want to accomplish. What is it you want to get out of your life and then come up with steps to get there.

If you have friends and colleges passing you career wise, work on that bigger ftp and start dropping them :grinning:

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“Peers overtaking me in seniority and salary.”

You’re valuing the wrong things.

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THANK YOU EVERYONE :relaxed:

It has genuinely touched me seeing so many people offer advice and empathy for my situation. Some great ideas. You’re all great people.

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Welcome. And let us know how it goes, I am sure sharing your insights will be useful for others.

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Yeah - I experience this also. I assume it’s a normal part of being middle aged (whatever that means these days) and questioning life choices/path!

A few thoughts based on how I approach things like this.

  1. Avoid waking up in the first place. Not always possible as you get older.

  2. Use your trick of “I’m not going to solve this at 2am” to try get it out of your head. I do this a lot. And in the light of day, turns out what you’re obsessing about seems to have a lot less significance vs. at 2am!

  3. Determine if what your obsessing about really is important to drive happiness. There’s always going to be someone with a better job, make more money, better car, better bike, nicer house, etc., etc - the list is endless. Is what you have sufficient?
    Side note: read about Maximizers vs Satisficers. I’m the former. Knowing that allows me to frame decisions/comparisons appropriately and temper my reaction.

  4. If you decide what you’re obsessing about truly is important to drive happiness, then you need to address it. This one is the hardest, as it’s not just a change in mental outlook, it requires you to actually take action and change something. This is where you have to do the hard work and make a realistic plan and then make it happen.
    Side note: be cognizant of the saying “be careful what you wish for”. Before you take significant action, make sure it will really help the situation.

And also, don’t forget to get outside and ride your bike more!

I’m 50 years old, and have been at it as a health care professional for 25 years. It’s been a long road with many ups and downs, both professionally and personally. My story is not at all unique, and simply realizing that I’m not alone is comforting, at times.

The human mind is powerful; beyond words. It allows us to accomplish great things, but at the same time, can hold us back. Amazing.

Sounds stupid, but when my mind wakes up in the middle of the night, and begins going 100 mph (you know, repeating the line of a song that I just heard earlier in the day…over and over, or thinking about a phone call I have to make, or being sure I follow up with a situation at work, or reminding myself not to forget to stop and get a birthday gift and card on my way home from work), I will literally repeat the words “nothing matters”, and then attempt to concentrate on something in particular (last month, it was peanuts, sometimes it’s gremlins).

When I wake up in the morning, and rehash wheat I was worried about in the middle of the night…it’s ALWAYS no big deal.

Oh yeah, I go to bed, and wake up at the same time every day, and never have coffee after 11 am. Also, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, except when I visit friends that I haven’t seen in years.

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I often wake in the night, and if I genuinely can’t drop off again as my mind is racing, I find getting up helps. 15-20 minutes in the kitchen, lights on, with a hot drink, and then back to bed, and I’m back to sleep again pretty quickly. It just seems to help me ‘reset’, which is hard to do when lying in bed getting stressed about not being asleep. Worth a go.

You should see a therapist to talk about these issues.