I’m so sorry to read this. Glad you are recovering well. I’m sure your family is looking for anything they can to help ensure it doesn’t happen again.
Prior to the incident, did you ever experience orthostatic hypotension, or any form of lightheadedness? I get it sometimes when standing up. I’ve read it’s normal with other athletes, but it always worries my wife. I’m just wondering if it could be something related.
On the topic of “questioning whether all this is worth it”, I’ve moved into the second half of my 50s and I’ve recently been pushing myself to move toward better overall health and not just focusing on being the best cyclist I can be. I’ve mixed in regular running, along with strength and yoga days. I hate watching my CTL and FTP drop, but I figure it’s just a temporary resetting of my brain to change expectation and get mental satisfaction from overall heath rather than just focusing on cycling numbers. It’s not been an easy transition mentally though.