No, you don’t.
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Well this post is timely. Had my first race of the season yesterday. Actually did really well. It was a C event so mostly just an early season crit to get back into it and used to moving around a pack and race tactics. Went in with no results goals, just wanted to move around the pack, work on positioning, cornering, etc. And I ended up with a top 10. Which is amazing seeing as I just finished a big build block with a hard VO2 workout on Friday. All of this to say that I should be over the moon with how I’m coming into the season. But I’m just down.
To put it a little more in context, this isn’t a new feeling. I’ve gotten these almost depression like symptoms after races. Like, when you say exercise releases endorphins and you should feel happy after exercise, I feel the opposite. I feel hopeless and despair. Like I just want to go crawl into a dark hole and not interact with anybody. I’ve quit stage races mid-race in the past because after a hard stage, I “quit cycling” and give up riding for days at a time. And it’s not results based or anything tied to the race. It’s like I’m a different person and I just have zero interest in cycling or any other hobby or anything. The only thing I feel like doing is laying in bed under my blanket. I’ve called in sick to work the next day sometimes it’s so bad. And I’ve never had these feelings or thoughts at other points in my life. It’s weirdly unique to races and/or big hard workouts. Like a paradoxical response to exercise/endorphins. Or my body is shutting down.
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I’m not sure my experience has any relationship to yours, but I have had similar emotions following races and hard workouts and I was pumping myself up for. I’ve found two things that have helped me (not cured me). 1: Consuming a boat load of carbs during workouts and races has actually impacted my emotions following the end of the said workout/race quite significantly. I feel more alive/alert and less depleted. I’m more willing to interact with other people…been a very big help. If I allow myself to get anywhere close to bonking, I become reclusive, question my participation in the sport all together and want nothing to do with anyone. 2: This is more of a “between the ears” type of work, but recognizing that the joy is in the process. Racing means nothing without the preparation. If I focus on the preparation and find more ways to enjoy it, the racing just becomes the cherry on top…I could do or do without.
It’s the 99/1 theory, essentially. 99% of life is about the process, the grind, the highs and lows. 1% is about the actual victories and successes. If my happiness relies solely on the outcomes of events, then 99% of the time I’m going to be a disappointed and ungrateful person. If I put emphasis on finding joy in the day to day, I’m overall a much happier human.
Again, what I’m explaining isn’t apple to apples with what you’re experiencing, but I do feel there are some similarities so I felt like my .02 could be of some worth.
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I also feel basically depressed following a VO2 block. Tons of fatigue can do that to you.
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Totally. Threshold even more so for me. I have be careful with a bunch of high intensity. Endurance work as the opposite effect…
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I also find threshold work far more depleting than VO2 work.
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Physically, Threshold hits me harder.
Mentally and emotionally, VO2 destroys me.
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I’ve been slowly getting back into riding after burning out physically and then mentally last year trying to break through a plateau at (AI) 4w/kg. Had a season of what felt like poor race results based on either mistakes or not having it when I needed it. I have always approached cycling with a focus on racing, improving, getting faster. When I got to the point where I stopped improving and results seemed to get worse rather than better or at least stagnant, I lost all joy for the sport. I’ve come back to training again but again even though I’m coming back from burn out my ‘interest’ is still about increasing my fitness and the numbers. I don’t know if I enjoy going for a ride anymore than I would enjoy going to the gym. Unfortunately, I am probably stuck with an unhealthy view of cycling and one that is likely not sustainable long term but it sounds like you could enjoy cycling more without racing, going for group rides, socializing etc. I’m a TR user because I don’t care about the cartoon landscapes of Zwift I wanted to see the data and I’m an introvert, so even though I do go on group rides, I don’t get a lot from the social aspect unless people make an effort with me. All this to say, its unlikely I will experience cycling in a ‘healthy’ fashion but it sounds like you do and would more without racing and a greater emphasis on recreational riding.
I unfortunately seem to be stuck with drawing my enjoyment through chasing metrics and results and when they don’t meet my expectation it has a negative effect on me. It sounds like you would enjoy it more with less emphasis on those aspects of cycling.
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I’m a metric driven guy as well and sometimes struggle with this when trying to push results. But I’ve had good luck compartmentalizing my cycling where there are times I’m pushing for improvement/results and a time I just enjoy riding and racing my bike. Racing in the “off season” with no results expectations has been a joy. I’m not ready to give up the competitive side of my brain, but I can see a path where I’ll be content some day to just ride my bike without serious training and do events with whatever fitness that gives me.
A recent podcast I listened to was hitting on the subject of expectations and how many athletes are incapable of being happy with their progress/results. When starting out, you might be happy to finish an event. Then you push for top 25%. Once you start getting top 10’s, you want podiums. Once you are on the podium consistently, anything but a win can be disappointing. To a point, that can be a good perspective when striving for greatness in life or in sport, but at some point can becomes counterproductive. Sometimes it’s just not possible or realistic to keep improving your results. And even if you could, is it really worth the tradeoffs (family, career, health, etc.).
This podcast touches on the concept of “embracing the plateau”. You always hear about plateaus as negative things in the context of life and sport, but sometimes it’s OK to be content with a level of performance and just enjoy the path of getting to that point and/or maintaining it.
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I definitely had a noob gain phase, where a lot of my initial experiences were outsized performances, from initial rides with friends that were already active experienced cyclists to initial races in lower level classes I did very well but then once I moved into Cat 2 (XCO and Road) the progression was to being mid pack and then it seemed like I couldn’t progress beyond that even though I continued to make progress in TR with power PRs between 2023 and 2024 until I burnt out.
will check out that pod.
I raced for 7 years. Never made it beyond cat 3.
I saw a lot of guys go up to 2s, stall out and become pack fodder. All the races at that level were 1-2-Pro so while they may have been a successful 3 on 8-10 hours per week, they are now riding in the group with the best genetics that also rides 15-20 hours per week.
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Yep, one of the things they talk about in that podcast is trying new disciplines (or sports). Nothing like starting at square 1 and totally sucking at something to get that improvement “juice” flowing again. Learning/struggling at new things is key. Even if it’s in your current discipline, I have to find new things to work on or it just gets stale for me (regardless of results). If I can’t add another x watts to my FTP, can I find improvement with body position on the bike?
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Totally agree with this. It’s super hard for a couple reasons. The biggest being 1) You see yourself as a ‘cyclist’ so stopping that (or just doing much less) and doing more running/weight lifting/etc goes against your image of yourself, 2) ‘quitting’ is seen as such a negative that many people would rather hate every minute of what they are doing than be a ‘quitter’ and 3) it’s likely tons of your friends ride bikes and you see them at races and group rides so by switching sports your risk losing your group or no longer being an ‘insider’.
They’re all real things that don’t have easy answers but have ways that you can mitigate the downsides and ease the transition.
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That’s one of the biggest issues in racing for me.
It the 3rds you are against 2nds that never got enough points to go up, or enough points to stay up.
So you’re racing newly promoted 4ths (who may be slower) and mega fast 2nds that race sporadically. The whole cat system is a mess and it has put me off racing this year.
There’s no fun in being dropped in 20mins
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I race XCO, so getting dropped is just another Sunday. 
But it’s always more fun to have someone to race against that’s somewhat matched to my abilities.
The XCO categories 1, 2, 3 usually have their own staggered starts and race different distances. Cat 2 racers cover a broad range of abilities, and lots of folks hang here long term. There’s a decent gap between the first place cat 2s and the last place cat 1s. I’ve tried a few cat 1 races, and the extra mileage and faster competition usually amounts to me racing alone for 2+ hours, making the XCO race more like an XCM. I’d rather race cat 2 where I have competition and I can race it like XCO.
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What a timely topic. I feel like I’m in the same boat as OP right now. I’m 2 days in to a 3-day race weekend (Tour of Somerville weekend). And I’m just not having fun anymore. I’ve done this weekend of races for the past two years, and they were the highlight of my entire year. Very high level racing, great atmosphere, huge fields. But I just feel unexcited. Maybe I built them up too much in my head. I haven’t had the best results but not bad.
I just woke up this morning, with the grand finale Somerville to go today, and I have no interest in even touching my bike, let alone race. And I can’t say why. I had a great winter of training. Had some early success already this year with a few wins and some podiums. I should be flying. But the past few days, my anxiety and just overall feeling about racing has plummeted. I almost didn’t even line up for Easton yesterday.
The weirdest part is that it was so sudden. It wasn’t a slow fade. Literally a month ago I was racing an omnium and feeling amazing. I was excited about racing. I couldn’t wait to get in the line and get after it. I was buzzing for hours after the race. And couldn’t wait to get back to training and excited about upcoming races. Then bam. I get to this weekend and I feel like a different person. The night before the race my only feeling is dread. It feels like I’m being forced into something I hate. It’s just weird how I can go from absolutely loving everything about racing to absolutely hating it in a month.
Maybe I just need a break. I’m signed up for Chicago Grit, which had been a bucket list race series for the past 5 years. And I finally had the time off to go. But even now I don’t feel like going. I think I’m rambling at this point.
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