I’m convinced my wife thinks I’m crazy / obsessive. The 5 kg of maltodextrin in a bright orange container as part of my homemade drink mix doesn’t help, either. Or the fructose. Or the protein shakes. Or …
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Thanks man! 
We had our challenges but it’s going magnificent compared with the time I finally managed to see him, and his condition then, to now. Everyday we are shuffling but making awesome strides, and the fact that I am shameless asking for help from the amazing school and therapists does help.
Let’s be honest, if I want to lose weight, I ask TR for help, so when we need therapy, straight away did it! It’s been massive!
I just need to introduce him to bikes, so we can go for long rides and bikepacking! 
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Amazing response! Thank you!
So many thoughtful responses so far. Thanks, all. Definitely going to implement lots of the good advice that came/continues to come my way.
Mine does, and she always make a point of mentioning my “costume” when I head out on a ride. It’s hilarious. I love playing into it by asking her if she thinks I look better in navy bibs vs black, and other things like that.
I’ve had to explain to her that I’m highly competitive because she didn’t know that about me when we met 12 years ago. I really wasn’t into anything that I could be competitive at outside of team sports so for her to see me dedicating so much time to one sport was really strange for her.
It wasn’t anything a couple of conversations and some humility about myself couldn’t address. Being 100% transparent and vulnerable always leads to the best outcome with spouses (in my experience). I think the honest and child-like excitement for something disarms any pre-conceived resentment.
Sometimes you have to plead your case!
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I am sure my wife thought I was nuts before I started cycling.
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My wife (and now kids) call my bibs “butt pants.” 
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I wonder if it is a difference in culture between places like the US and Europe.
I live in Stockholm, Sweden, and in the Nordics people almost look down on people that don’t workout and live an active lifestyle… so when you meet someone and tell them about your training, people tend to like the fact that you are so active.
Same thing when dating (before I met my SO). I very often encountered people that got motivated that I was riding so much, and liked that that pushed them to train more, eat healthy etc.
And regarding the time issue, I ride about 6-8 hours each weekend, and for my girlfriend that is important alone time when she sees friends, does gym, work a bit or study etc. Its of course different when you have kids. But I have never encountered people who think that cycling 10 hours a week is “crazy and way too much time away from girlfriend”.
Maybe it goes hand in hand with how I read that lots of American cyclists gets open comments about being skinny, when they are just super healthy. That would never happen here in Sweden…
I do love the fact that healthy lifestyle is more of a norm here in the nordics than it seems to be in other places…
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Any downsides to living in Sweden? 
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I mean, not really… at least from the perspective of free healthcare, over 1 year paid parental leave, pretty much free kindergarten, super good work/life balance, free university…
But when you look at the housing bubble we have here, then there are some major issues… single bedroom in central Stockholm is about 400,000USD, 30 square meters big… So when you have a small nordic city with the same pricing as NYC, then there are issues 
Also, sales tax is 25% on pretty much all things, so thats a bit of a bummer sometimes… But I rather have that than have to sell my house if I were to get sick in the future…
Also, petrol is is 7,2USD per gallon!
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I’m not sure I’m doing it right, but I’ll chip in nonetheless
Dad of 3 boys (4/6/8)
As mentioned before, I train early. Get up at 6, train, then work.
The challenge comes from the fact that I need 8h sleep. So i go to bed at 10, thus cutting down time together.
Saturday is family day (unless there’s a race on Sunday, in which case I’ll get a 30 mins opener) and Sunday’s ride has to be finished before lunch, or planned as to not interfere with family life.
I think things will be much easier once kids are out of the house and back at school. Online learning is taking its toll on my wife, and she does resent the fact that I have free time and she doesn’t (although, she stays up late to do her own stuff in the evening, and as a result, is not up as early as I am 
)
Complicated stuff, relationships
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Well my wife doesn’t cycle, but ultimately family comes first for me. I just fit my training around my family. When they were younger that was evenings after they went to bed, now it’s mornings so I’m available for Dad cabs.
About my only insistence/ agreement was one weekend spin, but my wife saw (and sees) that this important for me, particularly when group spins are back. Similarly, I minded the children when she was doing her activities.
I’ll just throw the bone to all of you with small children - now with a 12 and 13 year old girls, they can be left alone more, they are barely up when I come back from my weekend morning spin, and the biggest issue is trying to get them off their screens long enough to have a (hopefully civil, but no guarantees) chat with us!
One thing I did admit defeat on was triathlon, as you mention it. Early starts to fit in swimming, evening bikes, lunch time runs, teething children - I just ended up run down and sick. I never really enjoyed swimming, so it wasn’t too hard. I was at a crossroads though anyway, as my swim leg was my real blocker to progress. It was time to commit to fix, or not. I chose “not”, as the bike is my real love of the three!
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That’s probably part of it. Endurance sports are still a very niche thing in the US and thus the effort it takes to participate in them is not understood.
For instance, my ex who is a casual cyclist and does enjoy riding, thought that my average of 8 hours per week was, “intense, too much, unsustainable” - obviously 8 hours is low compared to some serious riders. I think her view is common.
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accept that with very young kids, your sport “needs” are not the top prio in your household. This will get better when the kids grow older. I picked up cycling srtucturaly when my kids where both at school (4+ in the netherlands). Now with them 8 and 10 years old, I get more and more time to plan my workouts and rides.
The indoor trainer helps a lot to get the workouts in, for me mostly in the evening when the kids are asleep (i prefer that over early morning).
Another big change was that I didn’t gave up my parental leave hours, and switched from a 40 hour week to a 36 hour week, giving me some spare time during the week.
The weekends take some planning, but the kids don’t need 24/7 supervision anymore, so that makes it easy enough for a 2 hour ride in the weekend. longer rides require some more ahead planning (if I don’t want to argue about it…) and If they are not weekly, in most cases it’s fine (depending on other planned family stuff or chores).
last but not least, give and take, doesn’t matter if your wife is into endurance sport or into something else, just make sure she can also claim her time with her hobby, sport, friends, …
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As a father of two (1.5 & 4 years), I think the biggest thing to understand is that the first 2-3 years are much more time demanding then the next few. When they are so young you can’t seem to take your eyes off them or they will choke on something, fall off something, break something, etc. And developmentally they need the most interaction from you to learn speech, body language and emotional skills. The first 5 years, but especially the first 3, are critical to their development emotionally which is key to their entire life.
So you really need to scale back for a while. But you can do so while setting yourself up to be a better cyclist. You need to switch from fitness and results goals to process, technique, skills and execution goals. For example, most of us could benefit a lot from improved flexibility, core strength and bike handling skills. Those things can be worked on anytime and don’t require 60+ minutes at a time. Yet, they will make you faster when you can get on the bike.
A change of cycling discipline might also be worthwhile. Mountain biking is great because skills are such a massive part of being fast. You can also get a great workout in a short time. Though the problem is time getting to and from the trails. But this can be partly solved by making it a family trip to the park.
Even if you are road or tri focused and want to stick with that, being more flexible will allow you a more aero position. Swimming and running form can be worked on, etc.
So many people mentioning morning workouts, but night can work as well. Mountain biking at night is an extra thrill. Many people ride the trails backwards at night since it’s less crowded and it’s hard to get surprised by anyone when you can see their lights coming. It is a whole new way to experience your local trails.
Another tip: don’t go spend a lot of money on new equipment. You won’t get to use it as much as you want and that is setting yourself up for resentment.
So really, I think the key is being zen. Know that your total time is going to be limited quite a bit for a while. Pick something that will be meaningful to you to achieve in that reduced time. Learn to be happy with what you get to do, instead of what you wish you could do.
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On topic:
Tomorrow we have to leave the house at 6:00 am… as in Out of the door by then…
So chances of me having to skip the wo are VERY VERY high…
life! 
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Interesting perspective but I don’t think this is about looking ‘down’ on a healthy lifestyle. Many people in North America engage in all types of physical activity, I think it comes down to how much it affects other parts of your life whether or not it is seen as a positive or negative, and that for sure changes when you get older and have kids.
Maybe it has to do with access to child care, and lower work hours, I wonder if in Nordic countries there is more spare time to do these things. The only negative I see from spouses in North America is when it affects them e.g. needing to provide child care while you’re always out, having to do all the chores so you can get on your bike, not having any couple time together because with work and cycling and needing extra sleep there isn’t much time left. It might be true that in North America there is less spare time, less access to child care, longer work hours, commuting time etc I’m not sure, but that might be the difference.
One point that was not raised in this (very good) thread so far: don’t assume that because you and your spouse talked things over once and you have an “agreement” on what/when/how much, that it’s all good and cast in concrete. You need to review how things are going regularly: children grow, situations change, what you thought would be fine turns out not to be so good after all, etc. Don’t take “we agreed” for granted.
Have a clear view of priorities: is it your couple first, your family second, your sport third, or the other way around? (I make that distinction between the couple and the family on purpose - too many examples of people who put everything into the family but forgot their spouse along the way).
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Apart from taxes as @Dubadai said - it’s pretty far North, so even in the southern part of the country the winter is dark and bleak. Compared to here (Montréal), south Sweden winter is warmer, has less snow, and is a lot darker. You get some compensation in the summer however.
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I’ll add one more piece of advice. Just because you have a hobby don’t assume that your spouse will be as proactive in pursing something of their own.
I am terrible about letting my spouse feel empowered to take off and go for a walk, ride, or activity that removes her from the home. It’s not that I’m against it, very much FOR it, it’s that I usually assume that she will just let me know when she wants some time for herself.
Telling your spouse you have things under control and they can leave makes a huge difference.
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