Stupid Crash Stories

Tell us your stupid crash stories! Heres mine (my first road crash, this evening):

Chill ride this evening with more recreational folk. I decide to join since I did VO2 this morning and will do Anaerobic tomorrow. Ive been wanting to add volume and this seems the perfect way.

Ride goes smoothly, I have fun, nice and relaxing.

We are on the recovery portion heading back to the meeting spot. Its getting dark, I am still wearing sunglasses. We have a right turn coming up onto a bike path. We are going about 15 mph and slowing. I am in the lead, so I take my hand off the bar and point to the right. WHAM! I am on the ground.

I slowly come to my senses, stand up, and see that I ran over a really abrupt speedbump HIDDEN in the markings in the road. The road had the white painted stripes on the side to get cars to stay in the lane, and in these stripes they had put a speedbump. Not a gradual one but the very violent steep ones. As soon as I hit it, it ripped the bars out of my one hand and down I went.

I broke my shifter, ruined kit, and I am bruised and skinned. All on a fun bike ride. Ugh. Not to mention pride… haha.

Anyone else have any stories to commiserate?

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I think my stupest of crashes was nearly 20 years ago, so stupid I remember it. I followed a signed UK national cycle network route round the back of a church after dark. There’s was a short unlit section, no worries I had light and could easily see the building line. But my front wheel seized hard and I flew like Superman. I came back in the light and the actual path went round a small rectangular section of grass (circa 4ft by 8ft) and that had a black chain around it barely a foot (33cm) high. I think after that I swapped to two lights, one pointng more down and one more ahead, light technology has improved a good bit too :joy:

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I got a Shimano MTB pedal to my chin when I jumped on the bike to do some Zwift work. Now I have a 20 cm long scar there.

Other was when going for a KOM on a go-cart track, I had gotten it already but tried to improve my time with just one more second. In the first corner my pedal hits tarmac and I crash. It resulted with a broken Di2 derailleur and hanger - a quite expensive KOM there.

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I had a very similar one!

Back in my late teens I was going out out in town, went round a mates house for a couple of beers first, then we were riding our bikes into town so we could ride home again (save on cab fare). Anyway, we cut across the green in the park, half cut, summer evening, going as fast as we could, they’d roped off the cricket green, which we obviously couldnt see… fastest OTB I ever had :rofl:

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circa 1988. Drove home from college for Christmas break. Decide to go for a quick neighborhood spin to shake out the legs. Riding a 1985 steel frame Shogun 400 (column shifters, toe clips, 6 speed cassette). It was the 80s, so no helmet, no gloves, no sense. I’m doing ~22mph through a residential area, have just enough time to see the fluffy blur of a Benji-sized mutt sprinting obliquely at my front wheel. Go for the brakes whilst uttering “Oh, shiiiiiiii…”, and that’s the last of my memory. I think I broke the fall with my face. Vaguely remember being in someone’s house, trying to remember my home phone number of 21 years. Nobody home, so I pile into a mini van w/ bent bike and am dropped off. Sitting on the porch (so as not to bleed all over the house) trying to hold ice packs on 5 different spots. Dad pulls up in driveway, takes a look and says “ER?”. I nod. Nurse comes into room with a scratchy pad of betodine and says (still vividly remember this quote): “I’m not going to lie to you, Sugar, this is gonna hurt like hell”. She did not lie. 17 patches of road rash: face, both shoulders/elbows/knuckles/palms/knees/ankles, a few other spots. I guess I did a barrel roll. She proceeds to scrub all 17 with the vigor of someone with a deep seated hatred of lycra clad endurance athletes. Fun times. I love cycling.

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A long time ago when bike lights were as useful as a candle….a dark autumn evening down a hill round a sharp bend and smack I was on the ground. I heard hooves on the tarmac and came to the conclusion I had clipped a deer. I hope it was ok, I had a bit of road rash and scratches to the bike.

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I had a near miss two days ago in the UK when a Portuguese audax rider pulled out of a T junction a few meters from me because she looked the wrong way after forgetting that we ride/drive on the left.

I was pleased that I reacted by doing emergency stop rather than swerving because she would have just kept coming across my path and we would have had full a T-bone impact.

She was quite shocked and apologetic. I was also quite proud of myself for not overreacting and tearing her a new one for an honest mistake. Instead I reminded her to look right and wished her a good ride.

Was on a brand new Trek Speed Concept so that would have been a pricey crash and stupid crash.

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A number of years ago. Finishing a solo ride, on my home street, 100m to go. Didn’t have a bike GPS, was using my watch. Wanted to stop it (while still riding), grabbed the bar in the middle over the stem with my left hand, and brought my left hand to hit the Stop button - and I hit a large rock lying on the street at that exact moment. The front wheel went one way, and me the other.

My wife found me in the kitchen, not quite sure where I was, dripping blood all over the white tile floor.

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Earlier this year I rode straight into a traffic island mid-interval. Not like i wasn’t paying attention as it was the first time i was doing that specific loop, just genuinely didn’t see it because it was really weirdly placed and kind of dark.
Thought i just gave my shoulder a really good whack so I finisned the session and rode around for another couple of weeks before figuring out I had a broken collarbone.

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This is similar to mine. I was paying attention, looking where I was going, I just didn’t see the hidden speed bump. Costly mistake!

A few months ago me and my buddies did a trip to Moab, UT. Our first day plan was to do the whole enchilada and then Mag7 along with a lot of other mountain biking. At the very end of the trail its a tunnel that just a tunnel and the sign that you’re done with the ride. At the tunnel my front wheel washed out and I ended up tearing my PCL. Didn’t fall or anything during the trail but a tunnel to the parking lot took me out.

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For those who know Boulder, Co…I rode down the bike path that runs past Boulder HS on Broadway late after a party way back in '91. At the bottom of the hill the path makes a sweeping right then 180 back to left and then continues to parallel Broadway. It was lighted (not sure now) until the curve. I was going slow until two guys flew past me. In rabbit mode and full of booze I chased them down the hill. When the path got dark and continued straight I kept turning and barreled into the chainlink fence surrounding the Boulder HS football field.

Just a broken nose and my face was cut up pretty bad and needed quite a few stitches. Very stupid. Lucky it did not end much worse.

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I think that is what happened to me also. As soon as you let your guard down the littlest bit, that is when it happens

Oh finally I get to share this one with the world: Two friends and I attempted an epic 300km ride. About halfway in, things were going smooth. We were just rolling through the city of Bremen and switched to the cycling path because of the city traffic. That’s when I decided that the butt of my cycling buddy needs a slap (yeah I know, right?). So I roll up and give him a gentle, playful clap on his rear side. It is at that moment when I lose control of my handle bar and crash. Carbon Cockpit broken and my left shifter completely bent. And this was how my epic ride came to an abrupt end. Since then I’ve stayed clear of my cycling mates rear ends.

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When I used to commute to work by bike. It made for some interesting days like:

  • Riding home on rainy evening on busy road, and highway construction had put a steel plate over a newly dug pit. Wet steel is as slick as ice.

  • Turning a city corner on frozen January morning and discovered that fire hydrant had been leaking all night leaving a full lane wide hockey rink.

  • Riding down road in park on fixed gear and took turn and discoverd that that the road was covered from line to curb with fresh oil spill (probably from leaking tank). Managed to bunny hop curb on to grass at speed, somehow…

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Few instances of commuting mishaps.

  1. Rode over a stick that was ~1 ft x 0.5-1" diameter. Front wheel kicked it into the air and it got wedged in my rear wheel and promptly fell over (also, I was just ambling to work and not paying much attention, otherwise I could’ve maybe saved it).

  2. A few slow speed snow/ice crashes where I’ve stepped over the bars during the fall and ended up standing next to the fallen bike. In once case it was icy enough and sloped and I continued sliding right into my coworkers truck.

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You are Mark Cavendish and I claim my £5 Milan-San Remo 2018 | Mark Cavendish CRASHES Into Bollard | Eurosport - YouTube

Separately, I was told by a London surgeon that I rode with that I’ve broken my collar bone at some time. News to me, I’ve had some nasty offs but to my knowledge I’ve never broken anything :thinking:

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I have two.
First, I had just fixed up my cx bike after working on it all afternoon. I took it out for a neighborhood ride and decided I needed to ride on some grass. I’d went to a culdesac and rolled off the road into a vacant lot. Immediately flew over the bars! There was a big ditch and the grass was overgrown from within it so it appeared level. No injuries but super embarrassing.

Another was when I was road riding and exploring roads. Rolled down a descent then slowed at the end of a dead end road. There was a ‘high water’ river flowing over the road but I was less than an inch deep. I rolled through it at like5mph before I was going to spin around. Instant crash bc it was slick with green moss type stuff. Again super embarrassing but luckily I was solo on both.

Some neighbors probably got a good laugh at the clown guy falling to the ground in his day glow spandex outfit tho! Lol

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I was standing waiting for a stoplight to turn green so I had 1 foot unclipped. Somehow I ended up shifting my weight to far over my clipped in leg, and down I went. Thankfully no injuries other then a severely bruised ego.

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Great stories!

Here’s my helmet, after I inspected it this morning.

Giro has a 30% off crash replacement!