I’ve really been struggling on the bike for the past three months and I can’t find myself getting back. I’ve tried resting and then putting in the hours. In the past, when I’ve been in bad form it’s been due to time off being sick, end-season break and such. I’ve always gotten back after putting the hours in again.
This time it’s different: I had a decent start to the year and season, January – April, with some good racing results, nice power numbers, PR on climbs and so on. I was struggling with motivation and discipline now and again but nothing to serious. In May it was time for my to go back to Europe (I split my time between Central America and Scandinavia). I felt I was getting depressed, like I have been throughout my entire adult life. Anxiety was kicking in and I had some troubles maintaining my training schedule. I was lacking in form due to having 3-6 days of breaks now and then. But as soon as I got a few good days of training in a row I felt I was getting back quickly. This is what I would say the normal physical reaction for me.
The depression and anxiety got worse and in June I decided to go to my hometown to stay with my mum. I had a decent training week mid June with one particular super fantastic day, maybe my best day ever to be honest. It was raining and it was cold for the season but I was flying, sadly I had to call my mother to pick me up after I have had two flat tires (Had one in total the past two years). Anyway, my cycling moral and motivation was on top and I was looking forward to the second part of the season and using cycling to fight my psychological issues. The day after my super day was a decent 4-5 hour zone 2 ride, a then had a recovery day with a nice spin in zone 1 as usual. The day after that felt like a bad day and the next day was a disaster. This was mid-June and I haven’t been able to turn this around yet. Some days I feel okey and think I’m getting back, it’s turning around, just to really struggle for the second part. I just focus on doing zone 2 rides since I don’t see the point of doing any intervals right now. My power is down, my pulse is up, my decoupling is a true disaster and the general feeling on the bike is just crap. I often think I’m riding at 200 watts just to see I’m at 175. My longer zone 2 base rides has been around 200 watts and it has come very natural and easy for me, of course with fatigue at the end. Now I can struggle with it, like I don’t know how to do it. I have tried different power meters and calibrated and so on so I know it’s my performance.
I put in 600-700 hours a year normally and I don’t test much. Last year I did 10 minutes at just under 6 watts/kg so I’m neither a charity ride cyclist or a professional. I have had blood tests done to rule out infections, anemia and lack of minerals, vitamins.
I’m getting very worried about the few years left of my racing career, and I’m getting tired of trying. I don’t want to quit but I’m not going to continue like this.
Has anyone any experience about anything like this? Or does anyone have any ideas what it could be. Am I making a fuzz out of nothing?