I know that we are all a bit crazy with bikes and the usual N+1. WE are also paranoid about our processes and rituals for training… so I thought it would be fun to do talk about what rituals do you have about New Bike Day? In other words… what is the first thing (or things) you do to your brand new bike.
Beside the obvious 100 pictures, add pedals, and go for a bike ride, I like to add “Helicopter 3M Tape” to the key areas that might get damage.
You?
If it’s a mountain bike, I take it off some sweet jumps.
If it’s a road bike, I take it off some sweet jumps.
New bike ritual: get it out of the car, into the bike shed as quickly as possible. Only ride it when the wife doesn’t see me leave and come home and then pretend like it had always been there upon being questioned.
Intentionally drop it on the concrete.
Until you inflict the first scratch, you’re freakishly paranoid about it, and afraid to ride the darn thing for the reasons you bought it. (harder, faster, further, whatever)
The games we play.
Me: “Are those new shoes? I like them!”
Her: “No… I just had them in the back of the closet and forgot about them. I was shopping my closet!”
Me (in my mind) : “yeah, right”
Her: “Is that bike new? It looks different”
Me: “No… just different tape on the bars and I cleaned the chain”
Her: “You f#$ing liar.”
.
Her: How much did it cost?
Me: I found a great deal on my new S-works bike. It was only $800…
One obligatory profile picture, hit record on Garmin. 
helicoptor tape, strip and wax the chain, setup tubeless (road and mtb), install power meter. And get out the umbrella.
Immediately justify the cost by falsely convincing myself it is faster, stiffer, more comfortable, more nimble than the previous bike.
Pretty much this, but insert ‘Add carbon bottle cages to make it a climbing bike’
Sign up for an epic event to justify the purchase.
Remove the chain and put on a waxed one.
Helicopter Tape.
Spend way too much time on my trainer and BFF Elite app to dial in the fit.
Probably overhaul the whole cockpit and put tape on that I like.
Put all my accessories on it.
Put on my wheels and put the stock ones up on Facebook marketplace.
Take a 100 pictures.
While everyone usually talks about the excitement of “new bike day” I recently found it to be a real pain. The bike had different noises and I was constantly stopping to fiddle with it thinking something was out of whack. Also had to take it to the shop to cut steer tube after a few test rides. Then I “HAD TO” buy new shoes, so that was a whole new drama. Fit new tires to 2 wheel sets after picking out the tires. Pick out a new seat bag, well, just because. Then there was the power meter. Fitting a new through axle to the trainer. All told it was quite a bit of hassel, but Im happy with it now!
Last problem, selling the other bike. Seeing it in the basement is like having your X Wife as your next door neighbor. You see her everyday and think to yourself “could I have made it work?”
I am not sure how or even if to share this. Let’s say younger versions of my cycling friends would insist to slap your new bike with parts of their male anatomy.
Well yeah obviously that too 
of your friends… sure 
Promptly start disassembly and building the bike up with all the other parts I bought. I tend to buy the lower end builds and then customize a fair amount.
I have bought my last two bikes (gently) used, so for me, it’s a frame up strip and maintain. I don’t trust prior owners to have done anything required lol.