How am I so bad at this?

Nothing wrong with having goals. “Being a faster cyclist” is kind of arbitrary and immeasurable. Faster than what? Faster than who? You can get faster than you were last year just by riding more. You don’t need events to be a goal, a goal can be a segment, or a speed you want to achieve on a certain route, or being able to ride a certain longer route, or a tough hill, or with a faster group. Your goal can be to be able to maintain your current speed at a lower heart rate, or to get flexible enough to go faster with a more aggressive fit without putting out more power. It can be to ride x miles in a week or a year, etc.

Having a goal can be a great motivator and give you that mental win when you achieve it. Not having a goal is certainly very safe and comfortable and you won’t disappoint yourself if you don’t get it, but knowing what you’re working towards can be a huge help too.

I think it’s possible but depends on your genetics as much as your work ethic. For reference, I’m also a 35 year old male, 75kg. I’m athletic, 7% body fat, strength train 2-3 times a week, have been cycling for about 13 years, but racing/training for about 5 and had been doing low volume until a couple years about when I started mid-volume. My FTP is 260ish and that’s about all I can get on 7 hours a week of cycling BUT ftp isn’t the be all end all. Repeatability is huge and so is raw power. Despite my average ftp, my max 1 sec power is still 1450 at age 35 and is good for my weight.

Once ran 5k in 25 Min and was hard, my ftp would be like 250w then, at 67-69kg. Have to say that i rarely run

For me your power looks low for someone who runs 5k with 23min…

Maybe I suck running

That assumes that a faster runner is a faster cyclist. Doesn’t work like that. Look at some of the best triathletes. Those fastest on the run often don’t have the fastest bike leg…

The OP is making the mistake of thinking “I’m good at this sport, therefore I must be good at this different sport”. That is rarely the case. You can often be good in one sport and at best average if not mediocre in another.

For sure. You need to train each sport to get good at them. As my N=1 - when i was training for IM and HIM 2-4 years ago i would run train doing hard interval sets and hill reps and got my running down to 19:30 for 5km, 1:29:50 for a half marathon. At the time i also had a FTP of 330W (4.3W/Kg). Since 2018 i’ve never run a single interval and just run long and slow with a rare threshold run for fun. I can now do a 5Km in 21:30 if i’m lucky. I’m a 75Kg M50. (with no previous history of doing anything sporty, except surfing in my youth, before age 45)

At the end of last summer i was completely cooked and had a few months of just a single 90min zwift race each week to keep my legs alive, but I basically gave up bike “training” for a while to concentrate on trail running. Over the winter i’d occasionally have half-arsed attempts at getting started with training but mainly just rode for fun or a race in Zwift. My FTP fairly quickly dropped from 340W to about 300W where it’s hovered ever since. I’ve recently had to stop riding altogether for health reasons but when i pick it up again in a month or so i fully expect to be down to 250W and it’ll be heartbreaking to get dropped in a Zwift B race but it’ll come back again with some effort.

So, in summary, Yes - you do drop off a bit, fairly quickly. Yes, with a “maintenance load” you’ll stay reasonably fit/fast. No, just “normal riding” does not automatically get you back up to your impressive best. You need to do the serious work for that again.
Yes, it’ll come back if you do the work…