Just out of couriosity ( and maybe it might make me feel better) :
What is the worst maintenance thing or thing in general you have done to your bike in order to keep it running?
For me it was when y BB30 cup came out together with my crank because it was stuck, didn’t have a press on hand and needless to say no replacement BB. Ended up using the shimano non drive side plastic screw to basically press the BB cup back in with the chainset…
I once dissolved a stuck (aluminium) seatpost out of a steel frame using caustic soda. Does that count? 
There’s a bit of coke can in my seat tube stopping my seat post from slipping on my winter bike. Should really buy a post that fits properly, but if it ain’t broke…
That’s not a bodge, that’s a hack!
I have used part of a plastic bottle to seal a tear in a mountain bike tyre.
Cracked a seat tube on an OX Platinum frame. Slotted a piece of seat tube from a frame builder friend and shoved in down into the seat tube in the region of the crack and welded it into place.
Doesn’t look particularly nice, but it’s held together for the last 6 years.
