True story…back in 1990, I went out and did the Casper Classic in WY. For those that don’t know it, it was a 7-day stage race for all categories. Unheard of for almost any amateur category, let alone Cat 4’s.
Anyway, I thought I was be smart and cut my Powerbars into pieces and put them in a plastic bag so I could just have smaller bites as I needed them.
BIG MISTAKE…it was hotter than hell (and most parts of Georgia) during the race and I ended up with one big melted blob.
One of my childhood dogs swiped a box of power bars and hid it somewhere in the house. We never found out where but every so often she’d show up at the door asking to be let out to go bury the (wrapped) powerbar in her mouth. Eventually recovered almost all of them this way.
Hammer perpetuem solids. I imagine the pitch for those was “Like haribo, but if they were made of chalk and came in a plastic jar. Also that’ll be $60”
Also those little peanut butter packets that cost more individually than buying a jar at the store. I could see it having a place for the ultra guys, but I don’t think there’s ever been a point during a race where I wanted or needed a bunch of peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth for no carb-related performance benefit.
Clif Bloks chocolate energy chews stuck to my teeth trying to keep up with my cycling group, then I started choking on a piece that I hadn’t chewed enough. It tasted like something devised in an evil amateur’s chemistry laboratory with artificial cocoa and cloyingly sweet sugar. I’ve used liquid carbs ever since.
Not strictly a cycling product, but on advice of podcast counsel, I tried some beet juice powder mix. It was about $35 for the canister. Mixed per directions, took one sip and nearly lost it. Drink went down the sink, canister went in the trash. My Amazon review read something like “pond water mixed with goat vomit”.
Waaay back in the day, when there were very few carb drink products on the market, a company called Exceed had a product called (I think) Load. It was a drink powder to be used the night before a big event. It was 900 kcal of carbs, in the form of a lemon-lime solution. It was like guzzling lemon lime pancake syrup. My training buddy and I would sit in a hotel room and try to chug the whole drink (I think it was about a liter and a half). Neither of us could do it. It was beyond disgusting, but man, it worked the next day!
Some may remember the first Powerbar. Extremely chewy, horrible taste, difficult to unwrap and eat. Triathletes would open them, then drape them across their top tube for “easy access”. They attracted flies like…flies, and would be covered in sweat, road grit and who knows what else. I never went that route, but I will bet that’s on somebody’s “worst ever” list
I once was bonking going up a steep mountain and one of my ride buddies gave me the GU Cola and the moment it hit my palate I wanted to spit it out. Since someone gave up their food for me, I just suffered and tried washing it down with some water. Who is actually enjoying GU? It’s like eating children’s toothpaste.