I was curious to hear if anybody had similar feelings.
I was involved in a big crash. Tour of Somerville cat 2/3 race took out like 30-40 guys. My Garmin says 34mph to 0 in about 2 seconds. I went OTB, did a full front flip and landed on a bike, then got hit from behind. If you have a morbid curiosity, you can find videos on YouTube and Instagram. It was a pretty crazy crash. I DNF’d with some moderate injuries. No broken bones but I can’t fully close my left hand, and my right knee is swollen enough that I can’t turn the pedals (I tried already). Road rash over half my back. Sleeping has been terrible.
That said, I have this weird motivation, almost anger, to get back on the bike and race. Like, I haven’t felt this kind of drive to train and race in a while. It’s almost like I am mad at myself for crashing out, and I have a new fire lit inside of me to come back better to prove to myself that I’m better than that. I’m sore, I’m in pain everywhere, I can’t even pedal my bike. But that’s the only thing I want to do right now. I want to get back on and race again. Maybe I just thought that I’d be hesitant to race again. I know my wife is confused and maybe a bit scared that I want to race again. It’s almost like a video game where you die but it just makes you more determined to beat the game.
I guess it’s a good thing that instead of feeling hesitation to race again and feel uneasy about close quarters of the peloton, I’m just raring to go. Maybe it’s that I can’t physically ride my bike right now that makes me antsy to get back in saddle. Anybody else have this feeling after a crash? It was my first major crash so I guess I don’t know what’s normal.