Before starting riding on a trainer my average cadence was pretty low (80ish)
The psychological element used to do me in big time, at 62kg I convinced myself that I am no good into a head wind. I am now 59kg but fortunate enough (well when I get a crank replacement anyway) to be able to ride to power and usually find others breaking before me now. And with riders that are stronger than me I am conscious of not doing too much and using their strength to my advantage.
It’s all about holding decent power in an aero position. The highest speed is what we are all looking for, not the highest power. Most of us neglect training in an aero position. Into a headwind, your speed with an aero position may be significantly higher than your speed with a non-aero position even if the power is lower. Alex Wild was harping about this on the podcast a couple of weeks ago. If you’re just as fast as your friend on the hills and flats, the only thing where a headwind can make a significant difference is how aero you are vs your buddy. It’s not the TYPE of workouts, it’s the BODY POSITION during the workouts.
Of course, there are psychological factors, but I bet if you get the point where your aero position power is close to your non-aero position power, you’ll find that you’re just as fast as your friends, and the psychology will take care of itself.
As someone who is also similar height and weight, I’d add that we have the unfortunate side effect of having relatively high CdA for our weight.
That’s not to say you can’t get very aero, but someone with the same weight but 4 or more inches shorter is going to be inherently more aero for the same changes.
I find, as above, it’s raw Watts and finding the right gear/cadence that matches your normal effort. It’s very easy to get sucked into mashing an oversize gear when you usually ride a high spin. It can be demoralising to drop down the gears and see your speed plummet, but you may find you can bring your speed back up if you pace a bit more evenly/are building into the right/normal pedalling.
IMO I’m convinced it’s related to how torque is applied to the pedals. Applying torque from 12 o’clock to 5 o’clock to get 300w is just a different neuromuscular animal than applying torque from 12 to 3-ish to get 300w. Riding into the wind is more 12-5 and without or a tailwind is more like the later.
That and people try to get low out of the wind more than climbing which changes muscle firing pattern and O2 uptake.
edit: so it’s what you are good at and what you practice…
I do what you do but I just focus on keeping power consistent. Yes speed will drop but it really is just about maintaining the power to get through it. Ride at a power level you can sustain is all it is about.