Explaining to the Mrs/Mr

Whenever I’ve been challenged by my wife about cash outlay on bikes, cars, motorbikes, holidays and ‘er optional extras on a new car” I’ve found the usual reply remedies the situation.

Sweetheart, I don’t fool around, I don’t drink much or smoke or do drugs and work insanely hard but this is something that’s a little bit decadent and life is too short.

Obviously this doesn’t work if get caught doing something you not supposed to be doing…

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We have an understanding relationship at home.

My biggest fear is that if I die my wife sells my bikes for what I told her that they were purchased for. :grimacing: :grimacing:

Jokes aside. I’ve got full support from home. Can’t imagine being in a relationship where my hobbies would be a problem cost-wise. Time-wise however we have a whole other bank account for that. :joy:

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I have no other interests that I currently pursue other than cycling. I have no other expensive habits and since I work in the industry I’ve finally figured out how to make the low pay / good deal ratio work for me. I don’t drink, I rarely go out, and I work hard, and raise my son. Cycling keeps my head on straight and has gotten me out of some dark places. Like someone else said, it’s really not the money at this point it’s the time. Luckily my partner enjoys recreational road riding and I can ride with her for an easy ride which strengthens our own relationship and gets me those bonus miles we’re all after. It’s fitting in those Sat//Sun workouts that have become religion to me that becomes challenging. I have to give those up from time to time based on my partner’s and son’s needs. I miss being able to take off and do all day epics but such is life. As far as bike budget, I just try to keep it simple: I have one mountain bike, and one road bike. I would like to add a MTB with more travel and a gravel bike but I can’t justify either at the moment. It’s the “hidden” costs like on the bike nutrition and clothing that kill me!

At least we have an affordable training option here.

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Like others have said, more than the money is the time spent away.

Money, I make sure we are living within our means as a family, look for deals and discounts on everything. Use homemade on the bike nutrition, only buy discount clothing and bikes, remember you don’t need a new bike/saddle/bars/clothing/etc just because you want it. Living within your means in sport should be taken as seriously as living within your means in your personal life and that includes being open and honest about all the spending. I get the little joke people have about not telling your spouse the “real cost” of the bike equipment, but if I did that, I wouldn’t ever be able to bike. However, being open and honest about these things allows me to save up and feel comfortable purchasing things and by sticking to a budget i can put aside money each month to get what is needed.

Time on the other hand is the more difficult. I used to be a runner and I would be training 1-2 hours per day but as a cyclist it’s more along the lines of 2-4+ per day. Since I’m open with my spouse about expenses and we set realistic expectations we have mutual respect. She knows that cycling is important to me and trusts that I will do what I can to maximize the time spent with the family. She goes to the gym for 1-2 hours a day and I give the same to her.
This mutual respect can be shown by training indoors even when the weather is nice outside so I can be there when the baby is napping or sleeping, or getting up early (3-4am) to get rides in when I know we need to spend a little bit more time together, and then later in the day, no goofing off or wasting my time on social media so we can have quality time together.

So in other words, mutual respect, trusting each other, maximizing time while we’re with each other (and actually making an effort to be together), and being open and honest about expectations, costs, and needs.

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I am lucky because I have a lot of alcoholics in the family and a obsessive / horrible at moderation personality, so just I let her decide between me starting drinking again or cycling.

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I talked my wife into letting me buy my smart trainer by telling her it would keep me off the roads more, let me be home faster and more efficient training, and that I wouldn’t buy beer for the house for about two years to make up for the cost. I’m a year in, no issues, don’t miss it. I like wine anyway! :laughing:

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No problems here.

Most of our recent vacations have been built around HER races. :slight_smile:

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What creative ways have people hid their cycling expenses :slight_smile: Buy the same colour bike and swap them out? Hide under a sheet in the garage?

My problem is my wife knows more about cycling, equipment than most. I rarely drink, I don’t go out, maybe 4 times a year, I don’t see my friends that often. If I wasn’t racing I probably wouldn’t be on TR and drinking more. Riding bikes keeps me focused and maintains a healthy lifestyle. I buy 1 frame or bike a year, usually 2nd hand, and build it up over a period of time.

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Side hustle
My wife is cool with me spending money on stuff, she just does not get why some of these things cost what they cost. So I have a side hustle (that she fully knows about) I buy/sell stuff on sites, and do consulting. That money is kind of no questions asked money. It also makes it better for me because it is a limited amount of funds. Makes me be smart about what I am spending and do I really want/need it. VS saying “well I can afford a 15k bike, so I am going to get one”
Time though… that one is harder!

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My wife is into sewing, quilting and embroidery.
Her machines cost more than bikes. She currently has 5 and is trying to cut down to 2. Her long arm machine now has the third bedroom dedicated just to it.
I get some space in the garage for bike stuff.
Her last two machines were $6k and $20k new.

We each have our hobbies - she has the expensive one.

(I also have a friend whose wife has a more expensive hobby - equestrian jumpers. He was able to justify his bike Sprinter because she has a F350 and trailers etc…- They do appear to have a bit of money)

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I used to work in a bike shop in a pretty highend area. So I will give you the 3 best I have seen:

  1. Guy always bought a red bike every year, one year had to buy a custom painted because trek did not make it in red. His favorite color was blue, but as long as it was red she did not know it was a new bike

  2. Guy brought in his wife, had her go test ride a hybrid around the parking lot, the second she starts to ride he hands me 5 grand in 100s. Says “go to the bike I have been looking at and write the price as on sale for $1899” He has even figured it out so the tax and everything was correct.

  3. Guy had a Nishiki road bike, started doing tris and upgraded to the full works bike. Bought it, left it at the shop. He would ride to the shop, pick up the tri bike, put in his ride, come back drop it off, and ride home on the Nishiki.

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This is… brilliant!

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My motto is buy once cry once. No problems from my wife as we both work hard and have made some good moves to get where we are at. If we cannot have some fun with the money what is the point.

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I’ve been working non-stop the last couple of weeks and my mood has reflected it. Tonight my wife kicked me out of the house and told me to go ride. I must have been unbearable! :rofl:

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quid pro quo. We just have a simple deal - what ever i spend, she spends the same. Works for me…

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We’re completely transparent. I tell my wife about everything, I don’t hide anything, no white lies. I just make sure that I’m staying well within what’s disposal income. If I had to justify the reallocation from family to sports budget I’d probably find a different sport. I guess we’re extremely lucky that we can afford all that without having to be frugal elsewhere in life.

When we met my wife was curious why I was so weird with bicycles. She was baffled how one man needs several bikes and how much a single bicycle can cost. Over the years she’s learned that I get tremendous joy from riding. Bikes are the one single things that stayed with me my entire life. I moved places, friends came and went, I switched careers and listened to different music. But there was always some form of bike racing involved. I told her that riding bikes has given me some of my most coveted memories. And that it keeps me fit, because I want to live for a very long time.

I don’t think she understands. But accepts and I guess that is all I can ask for.

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Or just stop wasting money on ornaments. You won’t get slower as long as you’re motivated and have fun. However, if you need ornaments to stay motivated and have fun, it’ll cost a lot no matter what hobby you pick.

My cycling hobby is cheap. I don’t suffer the slightest because of it, quite the opposite.

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Just threaten to take up golf instead

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As many stated before.

  1. Health reasons.
  2. Outside keeps me from getting insane due to my job.
  3. Get her / him a bike as well and let her / him enjoy riding the bike.
  4. Let the other one choose a hobby for her / himself and do not question it.
  5. We both have what we call private time. In that time we are allowed to do what we want to do on our own.
  6. Bring in the money pay to the living and mortgage what you agreed on, show some savings and agree to keep some money for yourself (same for your partner). That is then money both cannot question where it is spent.
    6.1. My latest bike TrainerRoad users' bikes - #832 by larskoelle
    6.2. My wife is ripping it on an sworks epic fully so I should be the one questioning :wink:

Ask for forgiveness not permission

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