Anxiety and depression

Hi all, seems like I hit another phase of depression recently. The first one has been around eight years ago and for the last five years I was doing fine.

Now with the ongoing covid situation things were not going well for the last three months. Work has piled up due to shutdown here in Germany and I ran out of energy at the beginning of the year. I found myself constantly tired, moody and not able to concentrate on work or recover from work stress over the weekend. Four weeks ago I went to see a doctor. A blood test was fine, blood pressure was a bit higher than normal, which scared me and made me running around nervously from time to time. The doctor took me off from work and suggested to see a therapist.

Riding and racing my bike has always been a huge help for me to overcome fears and anxiety. I feel I gained confidence also in everyday life. It helps a lot to have something that brings fun and keeps me distracted from negative things and thoughts.

I try to keep training right now to keep the structure even all events in spring/summer are beeing cancelled. Besites that there are not many distractions as all restaurants, cinemas, gymns are still closed and contacts are restricded. So I just try to enjoy riding the bike, doing strength and mobility work. I spent more time hiking and walking together with my wife.

I also started to use the headspace app that was recommended in the thread in adition to relaxiation excercises.


Im really sorry to hear that, im currently supporting a friend going through similar. It truly is a battle.

I totally agree that the headspace app is great, I use the netflix headspace almost every day and encourage others to aswell. There is one episode on pain and it worked amazing at stopping my anxiety in its tracks.

Unfortunately for me the anxiety returned with a vengance. I wasnt allowed any diazepam etc and was put back on citralopram. This time it was so bad had to take a month off from work. I was upped to 30mg and after 2 months i evened out.

I tried edibles for a while at quite high amounts (up to 200mg thc) and it had zero effect on me.

I have for past month tried a full spectrum cbd oil and can tell a difference. Feel a little calmer and more normal. BUT I have had chronic pain in my knees for months and within 2 days on cbd oil bam completely gone!

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I hear you. I was doing fine through all this beer-virus - then hit what I thought was my normal wall in early November. Normally a couple of weeks off and I am ready to go again. Nope! Took weeks before I could sit on the bike (on rollers) for more than 10 minutes.

I can tell the depression is hitting hard too. Still can’t train. I am exercising - but not training. Zero desire to race. None. My family does not know what to make of that. (been doing it solidly for 10+ years). I focus on getting up, getting some sort of exercise in, doing my job at work and with the family (I focus on taking care of them), and not losing my mind.

When it starts to get a little warmer, I can run at O’dark-thirty outside. No way will I dreadmill at that hour. Ick. That should help. Hopefully non-sufferfest group rides will happen again soon too.

This - enjoy the time with your wife.

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Hi Thorstan
Good that your jumping in here, getting your thoughts and feelings down in writing can be a great help. Did you get to see a therapist ?

Had posted above about the Thrive program I went through, it was the first thing that put me on the path to good mental health or perhaps a better description would be that it gave me the tools to correctly manage how I manage my thoughts and feelings to situations and events.

For me it highlighted so much negativity in my thinking, speech and how I behaved. It did take several months of following the steps and tasks in the program, writing down your feelings and thoughts daily, recognising the positive things no matter how small and making a point of celebrating them.
It took some effort to reverse years of negativity that I had no clue was going on.
During one conversation with the Thrive coach about how I reacted to situations and how I spoke to myself ( we all have that internal voice) he said " basically you’ve been bullying yourself, why would you do that"
Hope you find your route to contentment

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Nur keinen stress🤪 klingt blöd.
War letztes Jahr im burnout/Depression, genau zu der Zeit.
Falls du Medikamente nimmst, die brauchen ein bißchen Zeit.
Headspace hilft, zwar subtil, aber es hilft.
Und bald kommt der Frühling, mit mehr Licht - geh hinaus!
Gute Besserung

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Thank you for creating this thread and thanks to all of the people who shared their experience. It makes it a bit easier to know that you are not alone and the problems you are facing are not something new. My depression came together with MS and gets worse when MS symptoms are stronger. I’ve been taking tecfidera and other meds, but the best for my condition is actually complex of meds, therapist and strict diet (no dairy, no alcohol, no sugar and gluten). I am also very lucky to have a supporting family which are always there for me, even on my darkest days.


I think having underlying conditions can exacerbate anxiety and add a complexity that many can’t understand. I am still on 30mg Citalopram and feel 90% normal. Switched CBD oil which even though is stronger has been less effective. Diet and exercise have been a massive help but I have found Unmind app do a foundations to mental health course about 10 hours long that’s been excellent.

It’s funny I broke my ribs 6 weeks ago and it’s been hell I’ve told everyone I know how bad it’s been and everything about it but only told a few people about my mental health issues even though I would say that has been more painful and a bigger deal. The stigma around mental health is slowly eroding. Just speaking to people in life or online and being open about it so it’s not a dirty secret is really positive.


I use CBD to relax and see nothing wrong with it

I take lexapro and have for years. I believe I am at max dosage of 25mg a day

I don’t really remember much impacts but it was years back I was working with a human coach at the time and really don’t recall any issues.

Generally thou. 6 weeks is an adjustment period so don’t overreact to workout misses or things in that period. You might sleep more - but it’s your body catching up.

If you could time it - start the drugs for 2 weeks then have a recovery week fall on the 3rd week on meds and I bet the timing of high tss + max drug effectiveness would match up.

You be a better human and therefore cyclist in the long run.

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Well said. Similar feelings and situation.

I don’t have much experience with medication, so I have very little value to add here to your question. However, I have a lifetime of experience with depression and anxiety in general. Thank you for sharing your story. Just know that you are never alone

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