Training as a parent

[kurt.braeckel]

First off, congrats!

I have another on the way in February, and coupled with active duty service and deployments, it makes it tough to train the way I would ideally like to. I just kind of do the best that I can to be able to compete when time allows.

TL;DR: Early Saturday rides, take Sunday off = most of the weekend with the fam. Triathlete two-a-days: swim before work; try to get the run in before the nanny takes off for the day, or take the kiddo in the running stroller.

After about three months had passed after my daughter was born two years ago, I fell into a rut feeling guilty if I took time to train instead of help my wife or not sending the nanny home right when I got home from work. I wasn’t doing any kind of structured exercise, let alone training or racing, and I was getting stressed out at work - I missed my release. The Bob running stroller was OK; I don’t really like running with the stroller, but it’s a necessary evil as Nate said. (I’ve found it most useful for shorter/easier runs. Daughter has about 1-hour maximum stroller tolerance.)

After many frustrating conversations with my wife, we finally came around to how to help each other out. She plays tennis, and has been able to continue that on a somewhat more limited basis, while I take my Saturday mornings and do my long workouts, usually 2.5-3.5 hours on the bike with a short run after. That seemed to work, and minimize my frustration while providing balance at home. The tradeoff I made was that I worked my training into six days per week, always taking Sunday off (until the final two tune-up weeks before the event). That meant that the family got me all weekend after about 10am on Saturday. That seemed to work well and is something we’ll carry forward whether I race again in 2019 or not… I still want to get some long rides in on the weekends, kiddo permitting.

Otherwise, I found that I had to get workouts in early in the morning, which seems common. I typically chose to swim on those days where I needed to double up. I got over the “nanny guilt”, and she works her full time hours so I can get an hour of work in after work. We’re pretty lucky with her.

This year, I had a successful race at Superfrog 70.3 going self-coached. I wasn’t using TR for that event, but tried it during my final weeks and came around to the idea that the trainer is going to be a life necessity for me if I want to continue training and competing, which I do. I need some focused bike work raising my FTP so I can compete at the highest levels of the AG. Swim is good enough, run is dialed in… and I think TR will bring the bike up to where it needs to be.

With the impending arrival of daughter #2, I suspect 2019 will not be a racing season, or if it is, it’ll be limited. Hence, if I can run through a low-volume “season” of TR and raise my FTP, I know the swim and run will come back as they typically do when the time comes that I can compete again whether in 2019 or beyond. The races will be there.

[Bergfruehling]

Congratulations!

We became parents for the second time a couple of weeks ago. A girl, with her older brother turning 3 now.
Training is difficult - but as has been said, it’s always been a lot easier for me personally to fit in an indoor session than a (potentially longer) outdoor ride or even a run. Most convenient times to train are early morning or late at night, after dinner, when the kids are asleep. Of course, these come at a cost to my own time to rest.

Any personal time is sort of at a premium as a parent of small kids - for both parents. So I try to carefully weigh how much I can take for my own activities and how, in return, I can enable my wife to have her own “time off” from the kids and space to pursue her own hobbies. Scale down other stuff and prioritize training - watching TV, playing video games, browsing social media and thinks like that. Sometimes the training will suffer, and I value my relationship and the kids above achieving 100% compliance with the training plans.

[Simo429]

This is what my supporter is doing the afternoon while I’m on the turbo

[dprimm]

Tons of advice here. I can tell you that when my son was born, I was having my best season yet. Competing for placement in the MTB series for the season. He was coming early – and training STOPPED when he arrived. Almost nothing from his birth until the 1 month later at the last race. I tried, but operating on almost no sleep, training was tough. Heck, I am convinced I taught chemistry in my sleep that first semester.

Now that he is 4, I need do almost everything at 5am. I am getting a coach as I am not able to plan and implement my training. I don’t have the time. I continue to work at making sure I am present when I am with my family. And present when I am training.

[willball12]

Great to hear all of the useful advice here and see what others are doing.

I wasn’t doing structured 5 years ago with my son but as he got older fitting it into the evenings worked really well. He is an early riser so even 5am starts to train would be pushing it for me.

Nearly 2 weeks in now and my wife and I are starting to discuss our fitness aims. Thankfully indoor training fits pretty well with giving her time as I can still be in the house and look after the kids.

[Kriskidd]

Congrats! Parenthood is awesome and a little crazy.

I’m not positive about your goals and that will certainly shift how you plan your training around life, but here’s my advice (from the perspective or a competitive at heart recreational rider).

Sleep is king, or queen, of all thing. If you are not rested you won’t be able to be a helpful partner or parent. You will also run the risk of serious injury if you push to hard on no sleep.

I’ll take a family ride over a training ride any day. Put a pair of flats on an extra bike if you have one and get a trailer to pull your kids, they will love it and don’t forget snacks for them.

I’m less than a month from welcoming my 3rd child to the family and each time elite fitness drifts farther away… I’m ok with that.

[Rennma]

Had 2 kids in the last 3 years. TR helped me to tone it down but make each workout count even if only 45 Minutes of 30/30s or 40/20. Does it change everyday = YES. Did I finish one plan as recommended = NO. I still improved from 260 => 320 for my peak event. Now after parenting time (2 months off) I am near 300 for the winter again. So I start with +40 thx to TR and their motivational W-outs.

[Bioteknik]

My life hack for dealing with family needs is i don’t have planned days off. Sounds crazy but when i used to take planes days off, something would usually get in the way on a day i had a planned workout. I am a tri geek though so that means 10 workouts a week+bricks during build and specialty some weeks.

This way when life gets in the way itis a welcome break from training and doesn’t get the usual neurotic response for missing a workout.

Oh, and I’ll confirm that sleep gets harder as they are toddlers, year one is easy. Just wait until potty training and nightmares.

[AdamJ]

Embrace the 5am workouts.

I have a couple of friends who have struggled way more than me and barely fit any training in. I haven’t been on a club ride since before my one year old came along, but now I can fit in 3.5 hours of turbo riding a week by getting what I can done in the early hours.

Don’t expect to be hitting a season in form, I was planning a CX season this winter and I’ve already missed the first 4 races, but that said, there’s more to life than riding a bike.
I’m an absolute monster in my spare room though!

[Harts]

I am in the same boat. We have a 2.5yr old girl and and 10 week old boy. We have been fortunate with the first as she has always been a good sleeper. I was able to train a heap and keep fit. Now with the second things have changed. Not just because we have two but because the first has regressed to being an early waker.

I usually jump on the trainer 4-5 times a week at 4am and have the baby monitor on the handle bars. I normally get an hour session in but occasionally have to jump off the trainer during a rest interval, run upstairs to get the 2 yr old and bring her into the pain cave with an ipad and some wiggle or dare I say it “Baby Shark”.

I have started getting back out the door for 2 road rides each week with the guys which is also great. My advice is just roll with the punches, go with what your kid delivers and know that it will improve and change all the time. We seem to have got lucky with our new son as he is also a good sleeper and has started sleeping through the night which enables the wife to be awake and happy in the morning unlike the first few weeks.

[hammerandtongs]

The birth of our 3rd was the inspiration to get a trainer in July, and subsequently TR seems the best add-on for time-crunched fitness. I know i will have limited time for outdoor rides.

Training early is more likely to be consistent for me. Days have a way of conspiring to derail training, so first thing is the best defense. So far, the low volume plans are approachable, and sometimes i use a 45-min version of a WO during the week.

i struggle with adequate rest, so keep my expectations flexible, ie may need to skip a WO if the rest is lacking.

I am not competing at the moment, so my goals are a little less focused: get fit, lose some weight.

[nico_synergy]

Whilst I am not one, any feedback on this topic from any Mums on the forum? Would be interesting to have the perspective of a new mother that also fits in a return to training…

[willball12]

I’m not a mum and would love to hear some first hand experience but I can give some insight from my wife’s experience and some advice she has seen about returning to training.

Both of our children were delivered by c section and the general advice here in the UK is not to do any sort of exercise (above walking) for at least 6 weeks.

That advice is partially down to the surgical recovery side of things but also apparently related to breastfeeding and hormones which ‘loosen’ joints and can increase the likelihood of ligament damage in particular.

My wife (runner not cyclist) sought out anecdotal evidence and found plenty of previously active women started their training earlier than these recommendations but the caveat with that is their normal level of activity was high before/during the pregnancy.

For what it is worth my wife is planning on doing low impact exercise first (mostly swimming) with some yoga or bodyweight training before easing back into her running.

[pigoily]

I have two girls ages 4 and 5. Looking back on our first child there would been no way I could have done the training im doing now. She was a colic baby and I was so tired from lack of sleep that I think I would want to sleep rather than train
Our second child was much better but still tiring.
Now that they are older they go to bed at 8pm and this is when I get on the trainer. I try not to train when they are awake and need my time, sometimes this can be hard for the longer training sessions of 3+ hours.
Congrats by the way!!

[kiwifyx]

I’ve got a 1 year old and 4 year old. It blows me away to see how some top athletes have kids similar ages to me, and do really well in races (better than I did when I was in my 20’s and single). I have found the last few years have had me build fitness, then get swamped by life and do no riding.

I’ve been doing some training camps, just a few days away with friends, but it’s been great. I’ve already got a May 2019 trip in the works. I’ll do my best to do low volume base, build and specialty before May and see.

[menglish6]

What @Andrewl said.

Maybe it’s something that develops when you have more kids…We have three kids (10, 7, 2.5…the 0.5’s matter at that age) and have really come to the conclusion that we’re better, less stressed out parents when we are able to get 75+% of our planned training in.

My wife and I have similar tech jobs and similar levels of interest in cycling…so it all comes down to coordinating our schedules and trade-offs. Everything is planned in advance with high detail, especially now that the two older ones are in soccer.

During the week we’re both getting a trainer ride in right before dinner ~3 days a week.
On the weekends we each get one morning for a longer outdoor ride, the other takes care of the kids that morning. Other workouts during the weekend are more ad-hoc and fit in wherever we can.

A big key to getting this all to work is making the exercise space inviting to the kids so that we can interact and keep an eye on one or more of them during a trainer ride. When my oldest was very young we used to bring him into the garage in an exersaucer (we now refer to exercising as “exersaucing” at our house)…we’ve added increasingly more elaborate means of entertainment since then. This adds a ton of flexibility for the other parent to run errands etc without having to deal with all three kids. Also helps maintain sanity when one parent is traveling for work. One downside is that sometimes I end up with PJ Masks on the TV during a ride.

[dprimm]

Ahh, but you can use Super Geko Strength during a climb or Super Cat Speed for intervals!

[adamrbinder]

You have the right plan. I did my first 70.3 when my son was 2 and daughter was 4. Some nights could still be rough. I didnt have a trainer and was out before the sun most mornings. Long weekend rides and runs took a toll on our family. My wife was a great supporter, but If training would have lasted any longer i don’t know that my marriage would have.

Enter Trainer Road. Immediately after that race I bought a old computrainer and got TR. it has been a game changer. I can now do all my rides at home and take a 2 minute break to check on kids. This gives my wife the chance to sleep in or go do her own workout.

You have the right idea. Plan the week. I try and get it in before the kids wake up and over lunch.

Best advice is you need the practice “Rigided Flexability” meaning make that plan, stick to it and don’t skip workouts because you don’t feel like it, but maybe shorten a session or postpone if you need to make a little family or spouse time!

[zMax]

Thank you all for sharing your experience! My first kid is awaited for April and it raises a lot of questions about all the changes in my life, cycling included.

The childbirth should be just at the end of the specialty phase. Let’s see how long this fitness will last

[willball12]

You’ll be peaking at the right time then!

Congratulations. 3 weeks after the birth of our 2nd child I’ve not touched the bike yet although my wife has offered - I have just been too tired.

Looking to do a couple of sessions next week to get back into it.