Thanks everyone for the replies! I have much to digest and am taking everyone’s opinions seriously.
I’m leaning towards pulling the trigger on it, simply because… YOLO. Maybe I’ll even do a 70.3 at some point.
I see the bike as a challenge and not a cheat code. Note that I carefully worded my OP to state “Strava Segments” rather than “Strava KOMs” 
. The goal is to keep chipping away at my times, not necessarily top the leaderboards. It’s not that I care that much about Strava anyway, but it’s nice to have that dangling carrot.