Honey!! Come here, I bought you a new bike!
amen brother
Uff⌠I had a similar situation. It didnât go wellâŚ
Is still not going well⌠And this was mid 2021âŚ
I predict it will never be well⌠She still reminds me how much I spent on a stupid bikeâŚ
If you didnât tell her itâs because you know what will happen.
Best of luck
I used those words⌠Nope⌠50% off on a 12k bike still a lot of money
Ha ha.
You guys should have been there the day I got a Porsche.
I opened the curtains and said âSurprise!â 
We had to stop at a bike shop for something a while back. My wife looked around quickly and said âJeez can you believe people spend $2-3k on a bike?â
I bought a new bike âwithout asking permissionâ once. I mistimed the delivery so was 200 miles away at work, in a meeting, when my phone rang with my wife going âWhat the fK is that massive box? Have you bought a f*ing bike?â It was a massive argument point for 2 whole weeks until fortunately I was hit by a car and the bike was destroyed. My ambulance ride and broken ribs got me just enough sympathy to cancel out the âbetrayalâ and we got on with our lives.
I eventually bought a new one but I was able to say this one was paid for by the insurance. I got there in the end 
So you got a free* bike
*Not really, but you know what I mean.
Friend of a friend on a group ride riding a MootsâŚ. âI wanted a CX bike, so I just bought another Moots and put the same stuff on it. As long as theyâre not in the same place at the same time, Iâm goodâ
But yeah, Iâve had that moment where my wife suddenly realizes my bike may cost some money as a whole (I never bought an expensive bike as a whole). I was on vacation, and just left it in the private stonewalled courtyard of our VRBO. She said âare you going to lock it? No?â Then I saw her âdoing mathâ face.
I am just going to say good luck, I hope you all the bestâŚ
Donât mention it, and then through a âyou never listen to meâ paddy when she notices it
A phrase I never expected to read on this board. 
Based on a market analysis, I bought a product I will be able to sell in a couple of years and make money.
Gives you a couple of years to explain what happened to the market.
Just put a dress on it and tell her youâre having an affair, just easierâŚ
I make sure she doesnât see it for a good few months (the longer the better). Then when she does eventually see it and asks if you got a new bike, you can - entirely honestly - say ânah, Iâve had that one for agesâ. Better yet if you have time-stamped photos from months ago to prove it.
Iâve done the âsame colourâ trick more than once as well.
This is next level extremes but we do what we gotta do am I right? (In all seriousness⌠Glad youâre ok!)
This is pointless wihtout pics of the new bike or âupset spouse stareâ 
Ummm yeah I loaned this one out a few years back,âŚto a new rider who finally got their own,âŚyeah was at the shop getting servicedâŚ
An excellent pointâŚ5 point deduction from @Jolyzaraâs account for not posting fresh bike pjorn pics.
I remember a guy using the phrase âMy greatest fear in life is that Iâll die and my wife will sell all my bikes for what I told her I paid for themâ