I agree with this. I think some people think the hardest mental thing is going to be pushing themselves to hold a wheel in a race when its really staying dedicated to the training.
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I’m with you 
on this and I was in the Marine Corps if that tells you anything. We do this stuff, but we laugh at it too. People like Goggins try to make you think it’s completely serious, and if you’re not in Boot Camp, I think that’s absolutely toxic.
Hmmm, maybe.
Maybe he’s at his limit too, but he just has to hold on for 1 more second than you. And he’s in his own world of pain but he knows that you are too, but he also knows that you’re going to give up first.
A bit like the joke about a group of people outrunning a bear. You don’t need to be the fastest. You just have to be slightly faster than the slowest person…
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All of your points were right on, but this last one, for me, is the best advice. It’s a combination of training, experience and fortitude. It’s something that has to be built. Talking to yourself absolutely works, and I do it all the time, not just on the bike. I’m sure people think I’m crazy, but that’s ok, I probable am. Positive affirmations and just generally being your own “hype person” works wonders. Ride as if no one is listening.
My best advice it to try some TTE work with SS intervals. Work your way up to 1x120 or more. It will teach you something about yourself and your abilities. Plus, next time you have a 45-60 minute ftp test on the calendar, it’ll seem short in comparison!
Also, +1 for quoting Greg, if anyone knows what it’s like to go deep and keep going it’s him. I have that quote hanging on the wall in front of my trainer. I look at it all the time to remind me of what it means to struggle and how good it feels to complete hard tasks.
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When you feel like stopping, challenge yourself to ride for just one more minute or until you reach a specific point, such as the end of the road, a curve, or a mailbox. Celebrate this minor success. Over time, these small achievements will accumulate, and you’ll gain the confidence to push through even further.
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100% - Goggins who has completely blown out his knees and his body is wrecked
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One thing I’ve seen alluded to in regards to the original question from @faisal, but not really directly addressed is maybe the biggest of all: why choose to suffer? Digging deep without a real reason is just pointless suffering, so it’s hard to get the motivation to get to that point of suffering, let alone have any desire to stay there. The obvious answer is to find a goal, but that isn’t always an easy thing.
As someone whose weight (at 6’1") and fitness over the past few decades has swung between 185 lbs and extremely fit to 250-something and, uh, extremely not fit, I think the key is to start small and begin finding some grudge matches, like a particular hill that you dread every time the road turns in that direction, a Strava segment that suits you and you think you might be able to do just a bit better on, anything small and obtainable with a bit of effort. Over time you’ll start pushing yourself harder and before long you’ll fly over that hill without even realizing, and then you can start looking for more grudge matches.
Once you get a bit more confidence, you can pick an event to complete (could be a race, but just focus on finishing, feeling strong, and having fun). I always have two late April gravel events on my calendar for exactly that reason. They motivate me to keep going through the winter so I don’t get destroyed when they roll around. And it’s a very powerful motivator for me considering the level of suffering on some of the climbs.
Look at this way: I could slap myself in the face for the three minutes a day every day and make myself suffer. Would I suffer? Yep! Would it build character or something like that? Maybe?
But if the New England Face Slapping Regional Championships were coming up, and the prizes and glory were sufficient, sure, a (very hypothetical and presumably much younger) version of me would consider doing it. How long are we getting slapped for in competition? Three minutes? Then would it make more sense to get slapped for five or ten so three feels easy?
Suffering for no reason is just suffering for no reason, and why bother going to all that trouble? Suffering in pursuit of a difficult but worthwhile goal is another thing entirely. (and that’s when you put on The Cramps - Tear it Up.)
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We all do this! We all feel like poop for not giving “more” after the fact, but you gave all you could during the test and did just fine. Stop beating yourself up.
You say you have resilience already in your life. Therefore, you DO have it with regard to training and performing in endurance sports. And you’ll get more of it the more often you get knocked down and get your ass back up. Old people are effing unstoppable in endurance sports for this reason.
I think people have different ideas of “digging deep” scenarios. OP seems new to training and is most likely wondering how to settle into the pain cave without giving up. The lactic acid buildup during threshold intervals etc can be very intimidating at first.
One trick I have is listening to podcasts at the beginning of workouts and going as long as I can before turning on some loud/inspiring music. My RPE immediately goes down.
I also think playing team sports, especially football, as a kid had a huge impact on my ability to suffer as an adult.
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This is actually one of the things I like about using TrainerRoad.
Historically I’ve had a habit of giving up too quickly during challenging efforts, and then immediately getting down on myself afterwards for not pushing through. What I’ve started telling myself during hard workouts is that the TR algorithm knows what I’m capable of, and selected this specific workout because it knows I can complete it. I’m probably putting too much faith in the math behind TR’s models, but it helps!
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I’m a fan of counting and trying to come up with the fractions of the training I’ve completed. Also, there’s some sort of bargaining where if I’m really feeling like stopping, I come up with a number of intervals I’ll complete.
Good music also helps!
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I think as cyclists we tend to glorify the pain and the suffering we endure as part of our training. I say this as someone who was using the bike as catharsis, letting my angers and frustrations grit me through tough intervals. I got pretty fast and thought I was happy but I was emotionally bonking. Pretty much burned out just at the start of the summer as all my friends were peaking and all the cycling activities are in full swing.
I started working with a therapist earlier in the year to resolve some self-image issues. An unexpected consequence is that I lost all of the energy that was allowing me to steel myself through hard workouts. The thought of riding as training was too intimidating and I just couldn’t see myself going out and digging myself into a hole. I still loved riding my bike, but had no motivation to do so. I had to take about 3 months off due to a busy period at work during which i went to the gym as a new form of staying active that felt more accessible. During this time I was learning to practice positive self speak/generally be kinder to myself and not put such high expectations on everything I do. At some point I feel like I had this breakthrough from the negative feelings that were keeping me from digging deep.
I’m now back to training on the bike and re-learning how to go deep, but with a positive tone. “You’ve been this strong before, you can do it again”, or “you’ve done 3 of the sets, you can handle the last one”, or “you’re going to be so proud when you look back on the hard work you’re doing now”. I used to think that sort of thing was corny but I’m learning it has it’s own power.
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Although about running, you might really like the book, “Let your Mind Run,” by Deena Kastor. She was an elite level marathon runners but probably had one of the healthiest positive athlete minds I can recall. It’s been many years since I read it, but your post instantly reminded me of the book. I’m more of a pain cave type of athlete, but I thoroughly enjoyed the book and seeing her alternative mindset.
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Strangely I have the opposite trouble. When I am training, I can dig in and complete some ungodly intervals at times. When racing, I can’t seem to dig as deep. When I look back at the power file I often think “There is NO way I should be getting dropped on this clumb.”
Another thing that helps is computing gear ratios. I get quite slow when the going gets tough. And my memory is fleeting, which means every computation is fun and challenging again. 
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A racing memory that helps me dig deep now was about 15 years ago. Just a local XCO race, age group sport class, and I was first into the woods and had led all but the final few minutes when I was passed. When I came out of the woods for the final paved climb to the finish I saw the rider that passed me up ahead. I decided in that moment I didn’t have enough in the tank to chase him down in the last 150 yards, so I didn’t try.
Still wish I would have tried.
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Heck yeah. I love this one.
There are a lot of good comments in here. I think there is something to be said for recognizing when you really are beyond your physical ability and may cause more damage by pushing too far. The book “Endure” is really good and discusses a lot of good science on this stuff. Assuming that your planned training ride is “informed” based on your own performance (FTP or other power meterics) then you should have confidence that you are within the range of doable. There are many good “tricks” mentioned already here but I find the most valuable are those that change your current focus on where you are in the spectrum of time. There is time in front of us and there is time behind us but the critical part is having your mind only focus on a very narrow range of time in the immediate space. The harder it gets the more critical it is you focus on pushing those pedals in that very immediate time space. That could be as short as literally just one 1/2 revolution. If you start thinking about the intervals that are coming or the many miles you have remaining on a long ultra length ride, those are bad thoughts. I have a saying and acronym I use “live in the moment” (LITM). Your job is in that moment to push those freaking pedals. Keep the brain focused on just that. I used to count to 10 but now I count to 4 and start over.
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Similar sort of thing for me, when I’m doing intervals on a closed circuit, it helps me to look at the time remaining & calculate the number of laps remaining. Doesn’t always get me over the line but it helps.
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