One of the challenges with threads like this is that everyone tends to tell you what they are riding, and that they love their bike…but that may not be the best option for you.
I’ve beat this horse multiple times in the past, but I would encourage you to look at the BB heights of whatever bikes you are interested in…it is a crucial, and often overlooked, geometry component.
Based on what you noted above re: 2 wheels, I would encourgae you to look at bikes with lower BB heights vs. higher. A lower BB will be more stable across multiple wheel setups…and if you aren’t racing cross, you really don’t need a high BB. So many gravel bikes are slightly modified CX bikes, which means they have a higher BB.
Bikes like the Cervelo Aspero 3T Strada have lower BB heights, more similar to a road bike. The new Crux kinda sits in between where the old Crux was and where something like the Aspero is. The OPEN and many other bikes tend to be higher.
A lower BB will get you an overall lower CG, which translate into more stability in gravel and when cornering. IMO, those are critical components for a good handling gravel bike.