I think you could easily address that by programming the “glow” to automatically kick in if you are in a pack of 10(?) riders or more…no matter if it is a group ride or just a blob you join when out riding.
ETA - shoes don’t really work because they are usually blocked by other riders. Helmets don’t really stand out that much IMO…the white Evade seems to be the best option, but lots of people wear that too.