I’ve felt this way in the past. I had packed racing calendars from like 2016-2020 and the race anxiety was crippling. Like the car ride to the race was the worst, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Not talking to anyone at the start line. Focus, focus, focus on hole shot, not being midpack, don’t get sick week before a race, chase cat upgrades. Stress at my real job, too. Then COVID hit and there was nothing. I lost a bunch of fitness and gained weight. Worked a lot and life kind of sucked with no bike riding. Switched jobs, things opened back up, and I got back on the bike. Did a mountain bike camp, signed up for Trainerroad, set some new goals in 2024. Finally have the fitness back up and signing up for races for fun. Doing different events. The young guns at the races are now super fast and I get dusted but it’s okay. I still try to get the hole shot and will sprint anyone at the finish. It’s about the experience now. Have a good time and hope a good result can be a part of that as I’ve done the work. I don’t really get pre-race anxiety anymore. I think it’s because I took sooo long off from racing that my brain no longer associates racing with with stress but now a fun experience. Maybe take a break from racing, pivot your training, ride for fun. Or go completely outside the comfort zone. I definitely would try to find a group to ride with. It’s hard being the new person in the group at first when everyone seems very cliquey with each other but if you stick with it eventually you will be one of them. Good luck.
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