Falling out of love with racing, and perhaps cycling

Racing
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I think I’m falling out of love with racing. And to a lesser extent, falling out of love with cycling, though I’m hoping not. I just don’t have the same feelings toward racing anymore. And even when I was winning at the start of this season, I wasn’t enjoying it.

It all starts with signing up for a race. I get excited. I plan. I train. I look over the BikeReg page to see who else registered. I love it. But as the race gets closer I lose interest. I start to dread the race. My anxiety starts to build. And then come race day, most times I start considering not even going. I look for excuses. The drive is too far. It’s going to rain. What if I crash? But then I drive myself to the race. I get to the line and my anxiety peaks. And it goes one of a few different ways when the gun goes off. I either instantly shed the anxiety and just race, or sometimes I get halfway through and get bored. Yes, like 30 minutes into a 60 minute crit I think, dang I still have 30 minutes of this? Ughhhhh. Maybe I just quit and go home. And then I finish and maybe feel good about the race. Most times I’m kind of just neutral. Like, ok, that’s done, time to go home.

Maybe I need a group. I ride alone. I race alone. So races themselves can just feel kind of like high school with cliques everywhere and I don’t fit in. I just feel like the outsider at races. I see people with family or friends and they look to be having a good time. And then there’s me by myself. So maybe it would be more fun on a team? Get to talk strategy and go over the race when it finishes. I just feel like as a cat 2, everybody is already on a team. I don’t even know where to start.

My other thought was results. But even when I was doing well and winning some races. I still wasn’t getting any satisfaction from racing. I would get the podium picture and be happy, but then 30 minutes later back to questioning whether I even like racing.

Maybe I’m burnt out and just need a break. I do feel like I have this internal pressure to keep training. “I must hit my goals. I have to hit my weekly TSS and hours. I can’t slack off.” Which in turn has kind of made me dislike cycling.

Anybody go through similar feelings? My plan is to take a long break from racing and see how I feel. I’m deleting my training plan on TR and just going to try riding for fun again. But I’m seriously considering not ever racing again.

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I’ve felt this way in the past. I had packed racing calendars from like 2016-2020 and the race anxiety was crippling. Like the car ride to the race was the worst, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Not talking to anyone at the start line. Focus, focus, focus on hole shot, not being midpack, don’t get sick week before a race, chase cat upgrades. Stress at my real job, too. Then COVID hit and there was nothing. I lost a bunch of fitness and gained weight. Worked a lot and life kind of sucked with no bike riding. Switched jobs, things opened back up, and I got back on the bike. Did a mountain bike camp, signed up for Trainerroad, set some new goals in 2024. Finally have the fitness back up and signing up for races for fun. Doing different events. The young guns at the races are now super fast and I get dusted but it’s okay. I still try to get the hole shot and will sprint anyone at the finish. It’s about the experience now. Have a good time and hope a good result can be a part of that as I’ve done the work. I don’t really get pre-race anxiety anymore. I think it’s because I took sooo long off from racing that my brain no longer associates racing with with stress but now a fun experience. Maybe take a break from racing, pivot your training, ride for fun. Or go completely outside the comfort zone. I definitely would try to find a group to ride with. It’s hard being the new person in the group at first when everyone seems very cliquey with each other but if you stick with it eventually you will be one of them. Good luck.

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To be honest, I had the opposite when Covid hit. I loved it. No work. Just all riding. Races were gone but I loved that time period (apart from everybody getting sick). But maybe there’s my answer. When there was no racing and all I did was ride, I was loving life. I think I just need a break from racing.

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Ditto to most of that. I burned about 1.5 yrs ago and now do 2 trainer rides a week to maintain some basic fitness & health (vs 5x before). I can count the number of rides outside in that time on one hand, so I just lost nearly all interest.

I have been volunteering at local cycling events & fitting kids for free to pay it forward a bit and keep some contact. I am just letting time go by to see if the desire to really ride returns. Until then, I switched focus to another hobby and enjoy that for now.

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I wondered where you were! Hope you’re happy and healthy and life is good!

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Thanks! I’m doing great overall, just less cycling for now.
I still check in here about daily to keep in touch.
Hope you and everyone here is loving life too! :smiley:

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The best times I’ve had riding over the years where when I was riding with a good club or racing on a team. The regular Saturday group is more fun than most races!

I put in maybe 8 or 9 years racing. I raced a little as a junior and later as a senior. At some point I just got burned out from the grind and I quit. It wasn’t even the training grind, it was the driving to races grind.

I just quit 100% for many years. I wish I had transitioned to purely social club riding with some dedicated training for like 3-5 non-sanctioned events per year. Just something to do with your riding buddies.

I made life long friends when I was racing and cycling in my 20s (59 years old now).

The social aspect is the best part of the sport because, 99.99% of us aren’t going to the Olympics or getting a contract with a World Tour team.

It’s ok to quit the racing part if it’s not fun. It is just a hobby after all.

It’s also ok to do something different if it sounds fun. I’m thinking about doing a 1 mile race next year. We have a big 1 miler in my town in the summer. My kid usually does it as he runs. I haven’t run since high school. I thought, maybe I’ll train for a year for the 1 mile.

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Pretty much what I felt before retiring from my own personal racing last year. That said, yeah, if you don’t have a group, that can certainly help with motivation and making things fun. The only thing I miss about it is the camaraderie of the group and my friends in the field. It’s always fun for me to go out and watch the local races where I’m coaching someone for that reason, but I don’t miss the rest of the grind, personally.

In the end, for me, the friendships are great, but wasn’t worth the constant risk and the logistical challenges of competition as a middle-aged husband and father. That coupled with the fact that I don’t believe training for high-performance endurance sports is a particularly healthy lifestyle in terms of long-term well-being are what led me to leave my personal competition days behind me, and I don’t regret that decision one bit. (Though I do need to get out and do some more casual riding).

You just kind of have to weigh things out for yourself and figure out what it is that you want to do. If you decide that racing isn’t for you anymore, I would definitely have something you’re “quitting to”… another sport, another hobby you can dump your time and energy into. Much like retiring from full-time work, you’ll be a lot happier if you have something else in mind.

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Mountain biking: Get out in the woods, work on skills and negotiating technical obstacles… For me, it’s a totally different mindset from hammering on a road bike. Exploring on a gravel bike is another thing I do.

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Almost everyone burns out from racing at some point. Reality is that for typical amateurs it’s not healthy lifestyle anyway.

Take the pressure off yourself. Go ride for fun. Do some cross training. Set some goals at a different activity. At some point when you get the urge to pin a number back on, the fitness will return.

FWIW, the fellows that seem to make racing a lifestyle for decades do one of two things:

(1) Have superior genetics and can ride up front and do well without killing themselves during the week. These cats can really excel when they focus and train. If you are one of those guys or gals you probably aren’t posting here - LOL

(2) Do something like 2 years fully on and 2-3 years rebuilding. This works exceptionally well if you are into Masters racing. Your “on” years are when you just enter a new age group and have the relative youth advantage. Your “off” years are when you rest and rebuild for the next age group. This really works because you have something to look forward to and with five year groups there are a lot of cycles.

Good luck. FWIW, nobody gives a crap about amateur bike racing results except the racer him or herself. Give yourself permission to do activities you enjoy the way that you enjoy most. When that’s racing then go race. When it’s something else then go do that and don’t worry about it.

Darth

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Totally agree with this. It’s easy to decide what you’re doing isn’t working and stop, then before you know it 6 months have gone by and you’re new habit is to do nothing and it’s even harder to get involved in something more fulfilling. I’ve done major sport switches twice in my life and having something to fall into right away was huge. And you get to go from something where you’re experienced and progress is so hard to find into something where you’re a newbie again and you get to learn and progress super fast.

If you think you still love cycling to some degree, maybe take the off season to ride/train more casually. Commit to a regular group ride at least every other week with people you race with. Drop the hours maybe like 20% so you’re still on top of your fitness but it’s more manageable. Maybe mix it up and throw a run or lift in there for variety.

I’m in a fairly similar place minus the extreme race anxiety. I recently moved back home and am living with my parents for a bit. So there aren’t many great group rides here or teams based out of the far out suburbs. So I do 98% of my training solo except for the odd endurance ride I’ll do with my mom. Being in a new area I’m not on a team and though I know one or two people here they live in the city and I see them at maybe every third race. It’s definitely starting to wear on my motivation. I’m also a Cat 2 (the hardest category to be in IMO because you’re trying to get points toward Cat 1 but all your races are P123s and you just constantly get smacked by super fast Cat 1s and the occasional pro) and I’m 1 point away from my Cat 1. Hopefully I get that last point this year and then I’m looking forward to taking a half step back. Lift more again, throw some running into the mix, maybe begin a multiyear build to do an Ironman, still do some crits but maybe only like 5-7/yr and not 15+. More local, less travel. More group rides, less focused training. More social, less solo. Etc.

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There’s a lot you can do on a bike! Try mountain biking (as others suggested.) Check out the gravel scene. Hell, use some of that fitness to go on a touring or bike packing adventure.

Destination events can be a great change of focus too. This year my two main A events were Strade Bianche in Tuscany and the Rift in Iceland. Both were totally amazing, and neither really engendered any results-based stress (both have large international and I didn’t really care how I placed.) I trained for them, but didn’t stress over them, and really enjoyed the experience of both.

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I’ve been cycling for decades - the last race I did was maybe 8 years ago or so. I’ve had some great times racing, especially on a team. I never did like the time commitment and faffing around that is required as it never really made sense from a cost/time/benefit perspective. I got into cycling for fun and that’s what still sustains me.

I have a great group of guys to ride with that have a similar approach, so that makes things really easy. I mix in hard road group rides, gravel days and mountain bike riding. All the guys in my group are proficient at each discipline, so it’s easy to mix it up and keep things fresh.

The motivation to stay fit in our group is to not be the slowest guy lol. Seems to work.

It sounds like you should experiment with no racing for a year and figure out what actually motivates you. Also try to find some like minded folks to ride with.

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I’ve gone through similar phases where racing felt more like pressure than passion. What helped me was stepping back and riding without structure—just for fun. Sometimes your goals shift, and that’s okay. You don’t have to race to love cycling. Exploring new routes or disciplines like gravel or touring can reignite the spark without the weight of performance expectations.

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I have to say it’s nice to see this post and read everyone else’s experiences!

For me, I had those anxieties and avoidance tendencies when I was chasing the Cat 3 State CX title in 2019. I nailed ALL my indoor trainer workouts, practiced skills and drills, didn’t race nearly as much that year and by the end of that season I was absolutely DREADING any race leading up to State Champs, TL;DR I don’t ever want to take racing that seriously ever again!!

Also +1 on groups and other cycling pursuits, it might take a bit but finding a competitive (but safe!!) group to ride with is a game changer, all the fun and spice without the same type of stressors and annoyances with racing (I agree, driving 1-2+ hours for potentially 45min of racing isn’t worth it to me anymore)! :laughing:

I should say I am also on a team, but tbh it sometimes isn’t all it looks like or is cracked up to be; there can be weird pressures there to do certain races and if you’re a domestic team most teammates you don’t see till the races so? There totally can be cliques within cliques so kinda of two minds about that one, but again you won’t know until you ride with others and ask around! (If you’re a strong rider you’ll probably get low-key accosted about joining teams anyway haha)!

Once COVID hit, my husband and I went from back to back road and cyclocross races every weekend and jumped on the gravel train like so many others, thanks to a random raffle we ended up doing a gravel race across Minnesota (the DAMn) and enjoyed that summer since had those years of training and racing fitness to fall back on. Needless to say, our first road race in 2021 was a kick in the butt and big eye opener, personally I will NEVER not do structured training ever again!

I gained weight over COVID too, but this was after several years of being massively underweight trying to chase a road racer “look” that my body would never conform to. It feels weird to admit, but COVID was (in some ways) a welcome respite from the pressures to train/race/starve myself.

Now I’m in this weird place where part of me WANTS to race, but the conditions out here on the East Coast are MUCH sketchier vs the Midwest, people are way more willing to push limits and eat sh*t, the courses are either dangerously technical (and that’s usually what I like!) but with bad tarmac and/or narrow roads with car traffic that my 40 year old self doesn’t want to deal with.

The answer? Cyclocross, baby! (truth be told that’s the main impetus for me to race road at all, I don’t have a great VO2 so I need those punchy efforts over and over to get me ready for CX)! If you want a new cycling pursuit, that’s the way to go!

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Racing is not my passion. Ridding bikes is. So I only race to set myself some objectives and a steady training routine WO 4/5 times a week.

If it stresses you leave it for a while. 1st leave the racing. If even ridding freely still stresses you try to change sports or the MTB/gravel suggestions. Bottom line just find what makes you feel good. Group rides are always more entertained for sure.

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Also going through this. Was never a huge volume racer but up until 3-4 years ago I would jump into most local races if I was available and team mates were racing, plus target one or two bigger A races that I’d travel for and build a training plan around, ended up pinning on a number maybe 15-20 times a year, got some decent results and had a lot of fun. Motivation never a problem, it was what I wanted to do and I’d look forward to it. I was a carefree and happy racer, I was the one chatting away before the start, grinning in the photos after the finish.

And then I started getting pickier about the races over the last few years. Stopped doing certain courses or events where there was a history of crashes or sketchy racing. Started entering later and later to see what the weather was doing as didn’t want to race in the rain. Had to gee myself up to enter the races I did do, telling myself it was a waste of time and money doing all this training and owning all this race kit and equipment if I wasn’t going to race. Started worrying about races and being nervous in the run up to them. Though nothing bad ever happened in a race and I’d invariably enjoy them and acquit myself pretty well once the flag dropped. Last crit I did I finished 2nd from a field of 40 having been active throughout, initiating the race winning break and then splitting the break again with a few laps to go, loved every minute of it. That was a year ago and yet whenever a friend suggests entering a crit I find myself looking for reasons not to (work, form, fitness, crashes, weather, etc). Same with big A races - have done one this year and enjoyed it and got a good result, but find myself dreading the idea of entering another.

I’m just going to give myself a break. Deliberately not think about entering any races for a while, try to get out of this vicious circle of either forcing myself to enter races and then being stressed by them, or of beating myself up if I don’t enter them. Do the riding I want to do, keep myself in reasonable shape (I enjoy exercise and it’s a lifetime habit so even with no training plan or goals I’m not going to turn into a couch potato). Got quite a bit of life stuff and stress to deal with which may or may not be a factor (in the past training and racing was my escape from life stress, now the racing seems to be adding to it :man_shrugging:). Figure there’s a good chance the racing bug comes back at some point. And if it doesn’t I guess I’ll have to reconcile myself to being an ex-racer.

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I think it’s completely understandable. I am still really really new to cycling (2 years). I did a couple of races last year and even then kind of experienced the same feelings. I also strongly noticed the clique-ish feel which is just not for me. I am definitely a bit of a loner and strongly prefer training/riding alone so not really into joining a team etc.

I came into cycling after 10+ years playing amateur soccer as an adult and had grown tired of the cut throat, do or die nature of over-30 games with guys making risky sliding tackles, fights etc. And so switching from that to riding in a group on the edge, with guys bumping shoulders/elbows etc. was no bueno for me.

I’ve just kind of accepted that and have just taken to riding for the sake of riding/training just to see how much I can improve and then potentially picking events that aren’t really races per se but just see how well I can do year over year versus myself

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Are you road riding/racing? If so, try an off-road discipline. At least here in the UK, it’s a lot less cliquish, plus you’re more in control of the risks you’re taking - even in races, you quite often end up on your own, and it’s more a case of ‘you against the course’, than ‘you against others’

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And in my experience in the Midwest USA, even the gravel races that are ‘you against others’ and basically just road races on dirt tend to be less dangerous in terms of super tight, shoulder-to-shoulder racing. Idk if that comes down to the personalities of the racers (doubtful cause most of them raced both) or to the more technical road surface not allowing the same pack dynamics. But the gravel races always felt more safe.

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