Reading this thread for the first time. This absolutely resonates with me. Back in the 90s I used to do a lot of cycling on roads when I went cycling with my dad. I generally felt fine doing it, probably no fear as a teenager but the roads didn’t feel as busy as they do now.
A few years ago I went on a solo 70 mile cycle on a fairly quiet but fast straight roads. I must have had about 3 near misses on that one trip.l with drivers being too close to me at 70-80mph I completely lost interest in road cycling after that and now I have 2 young kids it’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
I love the indoor cycling but when time allows I will do some off road cycling routes. The roads are just too busy with too many bad drivers thinking you shouldn’t be there!