I just started listening to the latest TR podcast episode. @ambermalika and her partner David are parents. 72 hours of labor sounds really rough, though. Amongst my friends I thought the ones who labored for about 24 hours were having a long birth, but 72?
Best wishes from Japan to the budding Pierce family.
Nonsense! Plenty of people donât feel like that. My two are 7 and 9 now, and I love them like mad, but I still regard babies as being the ânecessary evilâ phase.
A huge congratulations, Amber, on completing the Body Building phase of your training! Sleep when you can, eat when you can, and get a babysitter when you can.
Iâm a bit surprised that this is how some people think of parenting. (No offense intended, Iâm not saying âmyâ way is better, just that I think of it very differently.)
I think most people think of the baby and toddler phase as being strenuous because of often not being able to sleep, having to change diapers, etc. etc. And children get more interesting the more they can communicate their thoughts and the more they reveal of your personality. I get that. But to me thatâs not what makes parenting hard. In a sense I am glad we start with a baby that is relatively easy to take care of. Itâs learning to be a good parent from level 1, and parents level up at the same time as their children do. Just think if you had to learn to change diapers, but your baby could already turn or crawl.
Thatâs not the hard part for me. Because children tend to copy the behavioral patterns of their parents, I am constantly confronted by my own weaknesses. And to become a better parent, I need to become a better human. So if I react badly repeatedly, oh boy, does it come back to haunt me. Conversely, my daughter sees me and my wife doing sports several times a week and I think thatâs likely going to stick, too. Thatâs why I think parenting is so hard and rewarding for me.
Dealing with a poopy diaper is childâs play by comparison
Congratulations Amber! When my Thing 1 was born, a prof said to me with sparkling eyes and a mischievous grin, âLife as you now know it has come to an end.â A marvelous journey lies ahead!
No offence taken whatsoever - one of the few pieces of âadviceâ I sometimes offer to new parents is to never forget that everyone is different, everyoneâs kids are different and their experiences will differ, and thatâs OK. Oh and to ignore most advice that people like me might offer.
Iâd be happy to discuss all of this another time, but I donât want to derail the thread any further. My only reason for saying anything in the first place was that when I hear or read someone say something (invariably well-meaning) that could be taken to mean âif you donât feel a certain way then thereâs something wrong with youâ then Iâm slightly concerned that it could have a negative impact on someone.
Iâm sure that all new parents, including Amber, know that there will be hard moments, there will be sad moments, but overall it will be an incredible, rewarding and joyful process. So, back on topic: congratulations to Amber and any other new or soon-to-be parents, I feel pleased that you are embarking on a (tough but) amazing journey!
Thank you all for the thoughtful wishes! Parenthood has been the classic combination of challenging and rewarding, with the net being overwhelmingly joyful. Excited to be back with our TR team with this powerful new perspective!
Excited to hear youâre back! I was just watching a 2 year old clip on YouTube and thinking, âwow! I canât believe Amber was with TR 2 years agoâ! It feels like you just joined the team last week, but it also feel like youâve been gone for a year! We missed you!